My Mom is 93, and we are moving her to a really wonderful place. She is staying with us until her new apartment is a bit more put together. We're working at getting the bedroom and bathroom nice first so she can sleep there. There is excellent care there. But, of course, she is getting resistant about that first night. Sometimes, she says she loves her new place, and at other times she is very depressed about going there -- or anywhere. I KNOW I MUST insist that she move in very soon, but how do I do this without her sobbing, screaming or whatever? It has been reasonable for her to be here when things were not put away, but this is going to take time and she must get in there. Part of her problem is that it's a brand new facility and there are very few residents. All the workers have assured me they will keep her going and will invite her to games, etc. and so I think she will be happy (I HOPE) when she gets used to it. BUT how do I get her to stay there? My husband is sleeping on the coach so she can have his bed; my health isn't very good. We must get some order happening here within the range of possibility, and that means getting her settled in. When talking, she finally admitted she was scared, which was good, but didn't quite know what she is scared of. I think of the overwhelm from her perspective, and it makes sense to me. Faulty memory, mood swings, temperature sensitivities, appetite loss -- who wouldn't be scared? ANY HELP IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!
Finally, thank you ALL for all you've written and discussed. I am angry, depresses (I suffer from depression so this is making it worse). I need to get a better perspective and take things more in my stride. Does it matter if she stays for another 5 days? Or will that make it harder on her?
ALL good advice is requested, but please, no comments live "Try to remember she'll be dead someday (I actually read that as a response somewhere here). I don't need reminding that I love her. I need to know how to really help her, and help my husband and I not fall apart.