I have DPOA of my mom and things have gone from worse to very bad. This is my third time here and I just want to go over what has happened. My mom has been in and out of SNF's over the past 2 yrs. This last time she was deemed incapacitated and two Dr's, the SNF' admin, social worker and the Dept. of Social Services said she needs to stay there. I agreed. She was very violent and almost completely gone until the meds they gave her started to work. She was doing well. Happy every day and we were able to speak with her and most of the time she would be as close to normal as possible.
My dad has dementia and doesn't really remember what he says from day to day. Also in two accidents. He is an addicted gambler and has spent all of his money except for about 7500. By the time I got control of my mom's bank account, he had depleted her 23k down to 8k. He is NOT happy about me having control over her, her medical care and of course, her finances. I am able to handle it.
I have been working with Medicaid so that she could have stayed in that facility and have the majority of her medicare to pay for it. Looks like approval would be at the end of the month or a week later.
Well my dad came to the facility and was on his way out the door with her as I was arriving!!! He was taking her home for good!!! Everyone was outside and said that I had to call the police on my dad to stop him. I just couldn't do it. So now mom is home with dad and things are not good. I am about 25 miles away but there is a lot of traffic and lights so the trip there takes awhile. I figured I would let him see he cannot take care of her and would let me do what is necessary. BTW, he is 91.
He called this afternoon and told me she was incoherent, just sitting, staring and not saying a word since he took her home. He called 911 and my mom spoke and said she did not want to go to the hospital. He has refused to give her any meds, yells at her all the time, makes her eat what he gives her and say she will now start to get well since she is off all of her meds!!! She has diabetes, a heart condition since she was 14 (now 88), osteoarthritis, lymphedema and many other conditions along with breast cancer. I have absolutely no control over him. I know I need to call 911 and have her admitted to the hospital but how do I get her back in a SNF again without my dad incurring a bill? So far he has been denied by the two my mom has been at because he causes too many problems like this. Can anyone tell me how to get the help my mom needs and back into a SNF? I am now just worried about taking care of my mom and my dad can either hate me or ask for help when he needs it. I cannot take anymore. I am getting pains on my left side and have a Dr. appt myself next week. The stress has done me in.