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Hello Decatur Read your comment on VA benefits and thought id take ur advice you gave to a different member.and write you .

Ill try to make this simple ,

My mother was divorced from her husband but didn't know it for first two years !!! she filed her taxes as separated during that time.

Her military id had expired so she went to have it up dated. un be-known to her, she was DIVORCED for the last two years!!! they had military police there to walk her off the base!!! she felt so embarrassed and humiliated to say the least!! they treated her like a criminal!!


They called her x husband who is retied military ! to get a copy of the divorced papers thankfully she had present of mind to ask for a copy and sure enough she was divorced!!!

What happened was, her x husband and his lawyer conspired together to not let her know she was divorced so that she would not be able to qualify for x spouse benefits ( there is a window (one years after ur divorced to let VA know ur divorced from ur x spouse to receive the benefit (SPB) in the event he dies )

MEAN WHILE he by court order, still paid/pays into the SBP and writes /wrote her out a check every month !! do to her being married to him active duty for 5 years!! but, all that means nothing to VA because she didn't file one year window after she was divorced so therefore she isn't able to receive SBP !! after he passes on !!!

Her x husband and his lawyer conspired together by not letting her know she was divorced, she had moved clear across country soon after she was divorced but her ex still knew where she lived cause he had to send her a check every month !!

My question is how can we get her SBP she is entitled to? does she have any legal ground? her ex does pay into it and still does ...( we checked and the SBP is still being paid ) it is written on divorce papers that she is entitled ! she has been divorced from him since 2005.


Sorry it was such along drawn out comment but nothing ever is with VA !!!

Thanks Cynthia

By the way I'm Air force brat and x military navel wife my self!

Thanks in advance

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If it isnt the VA who do I reach out to ?
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SBP-Survivors Benefit plan if a benefit that is paid out to a surviving spouse/ex spouse (if qualified) and any dependent children. This is a military benefit that is derived from a military retirement and the cost of the premium is taken directly out of the military retiree's pension. The retiree must be deceased before SBP is paid out. The VA has nothing to do with this benefit.
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Sounds like you need a lawyer yourself. An appeal of the divorce or charges could be necessary if possible. There is always a time limit on these things so the quicker the better.
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It may be helpful to have a look at the recent tax returns to see if they should be amended in some way.
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gypsyblu: Please take no offense to my correction. No harm was meant. Love, Llamalover47
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"editor" :-) Thanks for having a sense of humor. Mine is MIA at times. :-)
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AliBoBali: No, I'll take a pass on the edotor job! ROFL! Being a writer, I just can't help but notice errors.
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Llama, I'm sure you were trying to be helpful. I'm sorry. I'm fatigued atm and can read things wrong. I want AC to be a safe space for people to ask their questions and feel supported, as I'm sure you want, too. I mean well but I say things that are uncalled for at times. Please excuse me.
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Sorry this thread is "half argumentative" at this point, gypsyblu. That's not typical. But your questions/concern should be addressed by anyone who cares to weigh in, and not the manner in which you expressed it.

I personally don't know anything about SBP. My only suggestion would be that your mother call her ex's last base's Family Support office and talk to them.

And I agree that your mother would have the best claim against the attorney if she wasn't sent proper notice during the divorce process.

Good luck.
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Llama, you're going to be very busy for the next month, going through and giving notification about every spelling/grammar error on this site. Why stop at correct the spelling of "naval?" The entire post is full of misspellings and things that wouldn't be "proper copy" in any blog, article, etc., but I still understood what the poster meant. I don't think your correction is necessary or helpful. I think it only serves to make the poster feel unsupported, and that's not the purpose of these Q&As, threads, anything else on AC. Right?

I'm a former USN enlistee myself and I don't take any offense to the misspelling. To the contrary, I'm glad to see the poster reaching out for help in any way they can.
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ferris1: You were on point. There was nothing wrong with post. Big SHOUT OUTS to you!
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gypsyblu: The correct spelling is "naval" wife.
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.... (Divorces are even granted if no word is heard from the other party after a certain amount of time) ... She and Her attorney should have remained in contact, indeed.
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.... Ive just read your latest update to the issue ... So she indeed did have representation... Now that more info has been offered, you're not going like what I have to say...she may not be a victim of the system, she may be a victim of her own inaction's of staying on top of things... I know you may not want to hear that (why would she not stay in contact with her attorney to stay abreast of her divorce) ... I would first contact her attorney and find out what took place with the Divorce Decree ... If he mailed it to her after it was signed off by the judge, if so where did he mail it .. Or/ did the courts mail it to her, when? She would need to call them all to find out if and when and if not why was she notified of the final Decree. She would need to ask simple questions of what documentation actually took place after the judge signed off on the Decree (her attorney had to prepare and offer it to a judge to grant the divorce) what proof and in what facet was the Decree get sent to her if at all. (It may be that the courts simply did not notify her nor did her attorney (its not a law that they do, its simply very common practice that the attorneys do and also the Courts) ... Yet if any effort was placed that her Decree was hidden, you still may have a case, but if it falls towards it was she who simply failed to keep on top of teh situation, she may have no recourse.
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.. poster... I'm wondering if perhaps after you perform a little more investigation that it may shed light that you (she) may have a case against the attorney and possibly the ex under malicious intent (non-disclose of divorce) and or fraud. (did she not have legal representation on her behalf during divorce proceedings?) Reason I say that, by sworn ethics attorneys are not allowed to do such as you claim has been done. So if indeed you find that her divorce (which she should have been notified via mail from the county in which her divorce was finalized) was "hidden from legal notices or undocumented and not sent notification .. if in fact she was not notified of the finalization, she may indeed have recourse, and then if malicious intent is proven, then the military would have to reconsider her reinstatement of benefits for that time.
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yes she is entitled to his military pension do to being married to him for 5 years during his active duty gig...... but all in all she was married to him for 10 years !!! he retired when she was married to him ! 5 years active duty 5 years retired !

she did go to court to receive a divorce but she had no idea that papers were finalized 5 months later. in mean time she moved clear across country to be near her family ! she just assumed things were good and they were separated do to not hearing from anyone be it e- mail... phone .. or snail mail !!

no one told her!!! she even filed her taxes for 2 years as being separated not divorced do to thinking she was just separated!!

her lawyer didnt tell her nor did his lawyer send any final divorced papers!! so therefore through default she missed the one year window ! aren't gov agencies suppose to contact you ? her ex knew she had moved but he didn't send any final paper work letting her know that the divorced had been finalized !

how can I get this situation taken care of or her?? anyone have phone numbers names I can contact to help her?

her ex still pays into SBP

she found out 2 years later divorced had been finalized 6 months later after court procedure .... she had no contact with her lawyer or his and no commutation with her ex.... so due to not knowing she missed the 1 year limit . TRUE STORY!!

don't want to go into the behavior of her ex husband but if there is a way for him to manipulate the system he will do it to keep her from getting what she deserves !!

she is the victim here not him and she isn't trying to get anything back handed ! she lives hand to foot ! just want to help her!

so since he still pays sbp why cant she receive it on his passing? and it is written in divorce papers on her behalf!! ...... this was her ex husband second marriage, her first he knew what he was doing ! she didn't !!

YOU DONT KNOW.... WHAT YOU DONT KNOW!!

THANKS FOR ANY HELP !
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.. poster clearly states "Married 5 years" .... more attention needs to be paid to posters info to save unnecessary communication ..
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I am sorry I interjected my thoughts about the newly elected president. However, I did address the question in detail since I am the spouse and beneficiary of my three war spouse with dementia and know all about SBP, VA benefits and military pension.
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ferris1. This site is for advice and sharing. It is NOT for espousing your political beliefs. Pls. confine your comments to addressing the problem or addressing the question presented. Your political beliefs are immaterial to the poster's question.
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The SBP (Survivor's Benefit Plan) is an insurance plan paid by the retiree or military active duty person with a beneficiary attached. It doesn't matter how long she has been divorced, and I doubt she could have been divorced WITHOUT prior knowledge (both parties to a divorce HAVE to sign their signatures), but only the military person on the policy can designate a beneficiary. When one's military I.D. is no longer valid, yes, military police do have the authority to escort you off base since the military considers you a non-verified person with perhaps threatening intent. Now, the good news! If they were married over ten years, she should apply for spousal social security benefits and she will receive one-half the ex-spouse's benefit (assuming he is retired). That is always a benefit she can receive. The same thing happened to my husband's ex-spouse at the base in Colorado Springs, however, she needed a gallbladder surgery, so she got it, and then someone checked she was ineligible to have benefits. They immediately took her card after the surgery. Military has specific guidelines people must follow, otherwise there would be chaos. Why do you think President-elect Trump is appointing so many generals? Keeping people adhering to rules is vital for national defense.
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