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I think it's time for my mom to get help with her housework. She has moderate dementia. She lives in an apartment attached to our house. It's obvious that she can no longer handle cleaning her apartment and it's more than I can manage. I have my own house, my 4 cats, her cat my husband and his uncle living with use. It will take some convincing but I'd like to have someone come in once a week or so and give her apartment a good cleaning. I am wondering if people generally just hire a maid service or if they use some elder in home care service.

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Thanks for the helpful suggestions. They maid service once a month might be a good idea. I take her food shopping and throw away anything getting old. I just don't have it in me to clean my own house, take care of my cats and her cat and then clean her apartment. She just can't do the vacuuming and the bathroom scrubbing anymore. My husband and I have to remind her to change her clothes so that they can be washed. I don't mind doing her laundry or taking her to appointments I've just reached the maximum of what I can do!
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Get a maid service if you want her apartment to be sparkling clean. When my mother was home, she didn't move around a lot but her house got that grubby look and feel from just being undisturbed for so long. I was knocking myself out driving back and forth, doing the shopping, paying the bills, I'm not young or in great health and have my own house to worry about. Deep cleaning mom's house was out of the question. She did have caregivers come in every day and they would wash the few dishes used, sweep the floor, defrost her vintage refrigerator (!) once a month, do a little laundry, and take the trash to the curb. Occasionally one of the ladies would feel energetic and rake some leaves off the driveway or shovel the snow off the steps....Any deep cleaning would have to be done by a maid service, I think.
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Oh Midkid, if this wasn't so terribly awful, it would be hilarious! I'm one of 6 kids too, so I get the part about cleaning house for MOM! My Mom used us kids as her legs, "oh while you're up?..... get me this or that. I didn't realize how this gets passed down generationally, until my own kids pointed out that I did this too! Lol! Kids don't understand that Mom's get tired out, running around after them all the time, not to say that you should treat kids as slaves, but gosh, they are perfectly capable of running their little young legs to help their tired ole Mom, I'll never live it down tho, my now grown 30 something kids joke about it all the time! ☺
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Maid Service. And try to get mom out of her place while they work.

I used to clean for my mom. It became an exercise in futility, as she would simply go out to the trash and retrieve everything I had thrown away, right down to the vacuum bag, She is a hoarder and keeps EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! It was a joke. Now my 15 yo niece is supposedly cleaning for her, but does a terrible job.

I have not cleaned for mother for 5 months. I don't intend to even try again. She was not appreciative and actually got quite angry at times. (Conversations like this: "Mother, do you really need a dozen vases? They are all out on the countertop, taking up space"...."Yes!! I NEED them all!" "Do you have to keep six month's worth of newspapers?" "Absolutely! We may have to burn them for fuel" "Do you HAVE to keep 6 month's worth of used "sharps" (in unsafe containers) where small hands can get at them?" "Yes!!! I take them to a special place to be destroyed (the pharmacy)".."May I please take down the Christmas Cards from 2011?" 'NO!! I want to see them everyday!"

Her mother always had a maid. Mother bemoaned the fact that SHE never could afford one (6 kids, we all were her maids!) I think now she might love it. I won't pay for one, but I may run this by my brother with whom she lives. And I would encourage the maid to take the trash to another receptacle.
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If she can generally care for herself and just needs a cleaning once in a while I would recommend what my parents did.

My parents were fully function, still drove, still cooked and did light cleaning but the tasks like scrubbing floors and toilets and the like was beyond their ability. They hired a maid service once per month to do a deep cleaning. This was enough to keep the place lovely. They found a local service and the same two ladies come every month for about 2 hours, and do a really spectacular job. They totally clean both bathrooms, the kitchen, scrub the floors, dust, vaccuum and clean the windows.

I am thankful this was set up for them when it was. When my mother passed unexpectedly, leaving my father, who has alzheimers, alone, he would not have consented to such a thing alone. But since it has been happening for years now, he welcomes the girls in, sits in his room while they clean, and pays them when they leave (even tips lol). I'm very thankful for them. I can barely keep my own house livable.

Angel
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When it comes to paid caregivers from an Agency, their main goal is to watch over the patient to make sure they are safe. They will prepare quick meals. And if time permits, they will do light housekeeping such as laundry, vacuuming, and keeping the home tidy.
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Thank you for your suggestions. I tend to let her take control and then end up making myself nuts. She can go into my house for the cleaning. Her apartment is attached to our home. My husband and his uncle are home most of the day so that would be an option.
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Marsalis, I'm not sure if you are available during the day or not, but can your Mom come over to your place while her place is cleaned? AND, most seniors are familiar with the concept of a GOOD spring cleaning. Don't ask, just do it. Make the arrangements and just before the service is due, tell Mom that it is Spring cleaning day and that some folks are going to help.,Then, stop talking about it. I know we all want to be respectful but truly, at the moderate stage of dementia, I don't feel they get to 'vote'.

I watch my sister in law have 45 minute discussions on the thermostat in her Mom's apt. It drives me NUTS. If it is too hot, lower it, too cool, raise it. If a dementia suffer-er could focus and make decisions, they wouldn't be diagnosed with this disease!
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It really depends on what will happen with your mom when they are there. If she is used to having cleaners and will let them go about their work then a cleaning service is all you need, and it may be better accepted, especially if she cleans for you too occasionally. That would probably be cheaper than paying for a skilled caregiver too.
If your mom has difficult behaviours or you foresee the need for a higher level of care in the near future you should consider using an elder caregiver. If she has someone she has already bonded with it may be less of a battle to accept personal care, meal prep etc.
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