she will not lift a finger to help in anyway in the house . she refuses to use the washer or dryer i do her laundry, run her bathwater, clean her sheets on bed, make her toast, get her drinks during the day , pick up after her all day long, take her shopping when she wants to go , of course give her her medications, pay her bills for her, and many more things. she is doing MUCH better with the new shots for the schizophrenia , and her other ailments are not that far along yet that she needs me to be doing these things for her. I think shes just enjoying being waited on hand and foot. I mention things to my husband , like her smoking in the bathroom upstairs, nothing said, she has Totally ruined my new 32,000 car yeah the one i was waiting to buy because i have no more children at home and can afford it now ! it smells like a nasty bar now. she smokes in the garage, out front on the porch. if i say anything hes like ok ok i will tell her she has to go , is that what you want ? or i get i know but what do you want me to do about it ? we are selling the house and move to a very nice apartment complex in two weeks. we went there yesterday and yep low and behold she is already telling him oh i want to put a table and chairs out on the patio and hanging baskets with flowers, and i want my bathroom with the purple flowers and you had to see the two of them going on and on . i was looking forward to moving and decorating MY apartment but i basically have no say , shes taking over everything and he is letting her. he says it makes her happy. My mother always told me blood is thicker than water. Oh and dont let me forget to add that i am her primary care giver and i do all this while i have a chronic illness of my own . i make sure she gets and has everythings she needs , and in the process i sometimes forget to take my meds and then hubby gets upset when i get sick. His brother wont help because he cant deal with it , and his sister cant help she did two yrs ago but she has younger teens and they all have issues of thier own so mom cant live with them and she was deemed incompetent to live on her own. She has a trailor house in a nice park in florida but cant live there alone anymore. anyway thanks for letting me vent. i know there are no real answers to this problem but it just feels better to vent.