Mom passed away January 5. She had only recently moved to an assisted living near me, 600 miles from her home. So, we spent a week emptying her assisted living apartment, then took off immediately for her hometown in order to do a memorial service. My sister drove all the way across the country, so we needed to do the service while she was there.
Now that the service is done, we are back in our own home, but have a lot of mom's stuff here. We were crowded before, worse now! My mom also still has her house and all her stuff (we had hoped to get her well enough to take her BACK) and now my brother, sister, and I have to deal with it all.
My husband thinks it should be done NOW. In fact, he sent three of our kids down there to do some packing and evaluation, and he thinks I should just have THEM dispense with stuff without me even looking at it. He thinks that for me to ask that we wait a couple of months, and for me to say that my brother should be allowed some choices in how it's done, is inefficient and wrong. He sees no reason I should set myself up as the "gatekeeper" who needs to see everything that is going to be disposed of.
I maintain there is no hurry, as the trust will not be dealt with until my brother, sister, and I create our OWN trusts into which the inheritance will go. I don't understand my husband's hurry, or his telling me if I don't do it the efficient way I shouldn't count on any help from him, I can just hire people to pack and haul stuff.
I am so angry at him. He just thinks he is being helpful. He is a project manager by profession, and sees everything in terms of logic trees and action plans. I keep telling him it doesn't work that way in this situation.
Any ideas? My heart is aching, we've just been through a horrible time with mom's death and a related investigation.