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My grandma is in remission for leukemia and since the chemo has stopped, she's plummeted. My mother was normally over everyday doing everything for her but had surgery and it fell to me. I tried doing the tough love route and only doing things she physically cannot do for herself. She was doing OK until she fell in the kitchen after not eating for a week (she was lying saying she was eating). Her foot was injured but not broken. Since then, she has not left her chair. She is extremely weak and mentally confused. She is more than happy to sit in her own urine and feces all day and argues about taking her pills and eating. We suspect she allowed herself to fall so hard to get my mother back over everyday as she waits on her hand and foot. She lies about everything under the sun but we're not sure if she knows she's doing it.
Her insurance will only pay for a home nurse to come and clean her pic line once a week, physical therapy twice and a bath aide that's not allowed to help her up to clean her. She absolutely needs 24/7 care as she is a danger to herself. But Medicare will not pay for it unless she's in the hospital for three nights. She's been in the er twice in as many weeks and they will not admit her as there is "nothing medically wrong with her". She's joked about killing herself, which was passed along to the er doctor and nothing was done. Her oconologist can do nothing more as this is not cancer related. Her primary doctor is no longer in her insurance network. We're taking her to our primary next week (earliest we could get in) but I'm afraid this will be too long.
This woman was the strongest and most stubborn woman I have ever met and she has allowed herself to become chair bound and weak as a newborn kitten after fighting tooth and nail through the chemo. We're not sure if the chemo has effected her thought processes but her personality has completely changed. She was never one to sit around all day and that is now what she does, and what has caused her current weakness.
The issue is that the family knows she needs a care facility but money is an issue. We're not a well to do family at all. My grandma makes $150 too much to qualify for medicaide. They advised she could purchase another insurance policy which would bring her down to the limit. But, since her money is tight, she would not be able to pay her rent and would be left on the street. We've tried every elderly society for help and no one can do a thing. How can we get the help my grandma so desperately needs? It seems the system was custom built for cases like hers but she is falling through the cracks.


(I apologize if this seems to be rambling. We're all at our wits end.)

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With regard to " she makes too much for Medicaid", you go to an eldercare attorney and set up a Miller Trust, also called a shared income trust to get her income under the limit.

When she sees the doctor next week, you need to ask him if she is medically eligible for nursing home care. She needs to not be able to do a certain number of activities of daily living and have a certain level of medical needs.

Make sure he does a TB test as that will be required.

Start researching facilities and get her on waiting lists now. Find out which places will take her as a Medicaid pending patient.
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