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find something to distract her with. Does she like to read? or maybe you can get one of those portable DVD players for her and let her watch something. Engage with her too. Don't let her think you don't care about what she's saying.
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Anyone ever try herbs to help seniors calm down, like Valerian perhaps. What would take that "pestering" edge off? Mom isn't like that by the way. Just the opposite. She blithers in dribbles or grunts or hums constantly, looking down at her knees. I do wait on her hand and foot,b ut have to anticipate her needs.
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I have to admit medicine can be a life saver. Ask your doc.
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Def...Ativan (Lorazapam generic sp?)..is for restlessness. I don't know if you can get it for mommy it may make her a little drowsy. I give it to mom when she is acting up. I take it at night sometimes when I have reached my zenith of stress and cannot relax enough to sleep. I like this med because it is very mild and you don't even feel it working on you. Especially if it is a very low dose and the pills are teensy.
Wish I could knit but only learned it once from ladies at work...my mom was a genius at knitting. I however picked up crocheting it is much easier - mom taught me crocheting when I was little I wish she would have shown me knitting.
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stick a sucker in her month. It works on my mom . Sometimes. I have to watch her to make sure she doesn't get choked. Before when she would feed herself I had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios by her chair. She ate 3 or 4 bowls a day. One mouth few after another. It did not work all the time but sometimes. Good luck.
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Working with your hands can be very satisfying! I also like to paint and make jewelry, but do not have the time for those right now. Sorry to hear you lost your husband, but I'm sure you are finally both at peace. What do you do with your time now?
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I found crocheting easier to do with being with someone who talks nonstop or had tons of demands you do not have to count stitchs as much and it is easier to put down every five if you have to do that- when my husband acted my meds-xanax helped now that he has died I need very little of it.
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Mom is on 30mg of Paxil and gets Xanax 3 times a day. When she is behaving badly, confused and looking for people that aren't there, nothing much helps. If I can't redirect her, I just start feeding her junk food favorites, or give her some laundry to fold. Once she gets a thought in her head, she's like a dog with a bone! We needed to spend down on her cash, so paid for the equipment with her money. She still has too much to get state aid, but it looks like her long term care insurance will be kicking in soon. That will at least pay for a 40 hour aide to help me out.
Right now I am fighting a very nasty cold, from being run down by having no time to catch up on sleep. I have restless leg syndrome. When I do finally get to bed , I have trouble falling asleep. I've only been able to manage 4 to 5 hours a night for the past 10 days. Napping is not an option, as my legs won't allow it. I take a med at night, but it doesn't always work. If I take extra, I walk around with a hangover the next day. I'd give anything to be able to sleep a week of 8 hour nights!
In the meantime, I do a lot of knitting and have started to make felted purses. I can't always knit when I'm watching Mom, but it does help de-stress me when I can. It is a pleasure to speak with all of you and have your help when I need it! Take care.
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Defer can you apply to medicare to help with the cost of the wheelchair -they were very good with my husbands equipment as long as it was 5 years in between the same assistive device it is worth a try they might cover it for you what they do here is send you a statement monthly telling you it is rented but after so long they stop charging we got a hospital bed and cruthes and a wheelchair without paying we did have a medicare supplement insurance so that probably helped but it is worth a try just have her doc say it is necassary for her to have. Can she take anything like xanax to calm her down. In my state it is easier to get people in nursing homes now because the hospitals have units for a 21 day stay in rehab right there in the hospital for medicare pt.s so the nursing homes are having to mostly have long term pt.s and are not so fussy about who they will accept these days.
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PirateGal, Mom cannot use a regular walker. We had to pay $500 for a MerryWalker in order for her to be able to stay at daycare. These are used in institutions and have seats, a crotch strap, and a wide stance to keep it from tipping over. The daycare also attaches a tray so that Mom has very little room to stand and walk with it.If she loses her balance, she keeps on rolling until she hits something. She doesn't like to use it at home because it doesn't fit where she wants to go. Whether she is in her walker or wheelchair, she keeps on moving constantly. It drives eveyone insane! When she is in the wheelchair, she forgets where the wheels and brakes are 1 minute after you tell her. She only weighs 110, but has already bent the break handles on her wheelchair, by trying to force them in the wrong direction.
When she is in a fighting mood, it's all I can do to keep her from pulling me down with her.
Her neurologist just put her back up to 10mg of Aricept, which is good in the taking directions department, but not so good in the keeping her calm area.She is definitely a handful and will be very hard to place when the time comes. In the meantime, my days are long and strenuous..But life goes on and some day it will be my turn.
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def....yep there are so many different slices to the same aging problem. I feel sorry for them in a way because they are prisoners of their own bodies at times. Can your mom use a walker safely?
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At least your mom's are asking for help and communicating. You have to ask my mom 20 questions to find out what's bothering her. She'll say "I don't know" to just about anything you ask. But holy heck, does she not sit still for 1 minute. You can count as many as 50 attempts to get out of the chair she is tied to, in the course of one minute. I strap her in her wheelchair so she can be mobile, but she never stops moving! Her OCD will not allow her to sit quietly, and her Parkinsons' keeps her from being able to walk without falling. The dementia is the added kick that makes her forget that she cannot safely do things on her own. I think I would rather have her talking all the time, as long as she would stay put.
Hope we can find a place that will take her when the time comes!
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Pam, wow she's record fast on dreaming stuff up. Wow faster than my mom she wins the First Prize...ding ding ding! Lordy be, wow...lol...it's amazing on how debilatated that are in one way but not in the next...wow. Was this type of stuff going on through the ages or is this a recent phenomena?

LMAO.....THE ROLLER COASTER OF 'MOMMY DEAREST'....
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I had that with my husband he would talk nonstop I would just tell him to shut up already and when I finished doing 100 things for him I would tell him I would check on him in 1 hr.and just develope a hearing loss for that time if you give an inch they will take a foot. You can not change their behaivior only how you react to it.
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PAM:

Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it. I'm taking today off, as the mild stress-related headaches are my body's way of telling me this temple needs extra TLC.

There's a Chinese supermarket nearby that sells herbs and roots to make all kinds of teas as well as fresh seafood and vegetables I've never seen before. The prices are low, so I might as well treat myself to a low-cal healthy meal(s) -- right after a long, spiritually-healing bubble bath together with scented candles and Gregorian chants in the background. It'll be an out-of-body experience, that's for sure.

Good night dear lady, and stay in touch with your family here at Aging Care.

-- ED
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Make her wait........are you crazy? sometimes when I'm watching B-Ball I try to ignore her and she just keeps saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over.

Come PLAYOFFS I will go underground. I'm totally not going over there during the games. I've already explained this to her.
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50:

When my mother lived with me I had a "Session in Progress" posted on my bedroom door when my girlfriend and I retired for the night, so she knew better than to knock. Another house rule was not to interrupt when I was watching the World Cup, a must-see movie, on the throne, or getting paperwork done. I enforced these rules consistently. I used to ask her "Is it earthshaking?" She'd answer "No, but ..." My response was either "We'll talk about it when I'm done here" or "Hold that thought for later. Then we'll sit down and talk for as long as you want." Most of the time all I had to do was stare at her for a few seconds.

PAM:

Your mom simply enjoys being a slavedriver and knows how and when to push every button. After all, she installed them. Next time, flip the script on her and make her wait.
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When I'm on the phone talking to someone my mom talks to me. When I tell her that I'm on the phone she tells me that I'm not talking to anyone meaning the person on the end of the line don't count. I love Basketball. If I'm over her house I tell her ahead of time what time a game is coming on. She waits right up until the game starts and wants to go outside and sit on the porch or go in the back yard or she's hungry and wants me to make her something to eat.

Many times she ask me to sit her higher up in the bed, in order to do this I have to raise the legs of the bed up, and lower the head down and on 1-2-3 PULL. Many times when I do this she has a bowel movement.

Right after I'm done with whatever she is asking me to do at that moment and I sit down, she ask me to put carmex on her lips, I sit down then she wants vick sauve under her nose, I sit down and she wants the spray in her throat, I sit down and she ask me to warm up the heating pad to put on her knee, I do that and she ask me to rub her neck, I do that and she wants me to rub her hands, they hurt from the arthiritis.

Suggestions to keep her quiet yeah how about a muzzel. I know where you can get them real cheap! :)
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geez my mom has been doing that forever, and now I can't get a task done at her house before she's dreamed up the next. I think it's nervous energy and attention getting devices...how about some warm milk? Sleepytime tea?
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