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My Grandmother, who is 80 and lives with us, recently had a complete knee replacement. She needs the other one replaced too but the Dr. said she needs to build some quad muscles before he'll do the next surgery. My Grandmother doesn't do nearly the physical therapy that she is supposed to be, and she's not senile, but on this topic she acts it. "I am doing it" (when she's not and she knows it!). I'm going to go crazy if I keep nagging her about it. Do you have tips? Are their pedometers that talk to you? Special watchers that have 12 alarms that can drive her crazy every hour and tell her to keep moving? Any way of tracking that's worked for anyone? Thanks for any input... she wants to be healthy (at least she says she does) and I want to help her, but I don't want to kill our relationship in the process

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As you've found, kemilie, we really can't make anyone do what they won't do. Nagging generally makes people resist. I am sure pedometers that talk may be available and in Internet search could turn up all kinds of gizmos, but if she won't, she won't. I would suggest telling her (since she doesn't have dementia or memory issues) that she knows what she needs to do and you want to help her. But you are done nagging. Then, let it go.

If you exercise, you could talk about how good it makes you feel. You could also talk with her friends or acquaintances to see if there is anyone with a similar situation as hers. If this person had replacement and actually followed through with therapy, maybe she'd listen. A lot of elders tune out family because they think they are being bosses around. With peers, they may be more open and even listen to them. Good luck. Remember, you can't make the choice for her, so don't let guilt eat at you.

Let her know you want to help and are there when she is ready.

Other than that - any ideas out there?
Carol
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My Mom was under home health PT and OT. Despite their best efforts, she refused to exercise or even move whenever they weren't there. As a result, she failed to make progress and they discontinued her therapy. Now, she calls me whenever she wants to move and can't. I try to exercise with her, but she refuses. We had an ARNP in to evaluate her and it was recommended that she increase her anti-depression medication. I hope that works for her because she should be walking and moving. She's just getting weaker and weaker sitting around all day. Not to mention, transferring her is awful because she doesn't help.
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Use consequential thinking laced with a tad of fear factor, and let her make a choice. Right now she's not inclined to do anything; without nagging, ask her why. Perhaps rehabilitation means having to become self-reliant again and the loss of all that pampering and special attention. Perhaps she's scared of the pain of rehabilitation itself. Only she knows. Don't mean to sound like a Marine Corps drill instructor, but whatever the case may be the point of rehabilitation is to get better not to get over. She needs to understand this too.

The compassionate side of you doesn't want to inflict any more pain on her, so you probably let her be most of the time. Nagging is not working, so motivate her using the consequences of not complying with therapy. See if her doctor goes along with you. Good luck.

-- ED
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I have a walking app on my cell phone that encourages me. There are tons of them. Mapquest and MapmyWalk are just 2 examples.

My Mom didn't do her exercises like she was supposed to. She never fully recovered from the surgery. She walked with a cane before the surgery and a walker afterwards. She only had one done. She didn't get the other done because the recovery was too hard. But now she has so much pain in the other knee she can't walk. At 85 she has an extremely poor quality of life.
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As Carol said you nor anyone else can make her do her exercises it is just plain boreing and hurts too. What she needs is a "toy boy" to lift her spirits and encourage her. Can you find a young male PT or personal trainer at a gym to flatter and encourage her. She has seen so many females in scrubs or white coats a third of her age she just tunes them out. "These young girls think they know it all" Do you have husband? would she respond to him? Maybe dance with him? go for a short walk with his arm around her."Come on grandma I think the first tomato is ripe come and pick it with me" "Walk to the gate and see what the snow plow did to our mailbox" "come to the store and help me pick out a new one. you can ride in one of their bumper cars Just don't kill anyone" While you are out take her for a treat but make her walk a short way. You get the idea. try and spice things up a bit. She may be old but she will still respond to male attention. It's not dead yet.
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"I'm going to go crazy if I keep nagging her about it."

Then don't nag her about it. You can't force your grandma to do anything as you have found out. My dad was supposed to do PT exercises as well and he wouldn't do them. I offered to do them with him but he still wouldn't do them. I too tried to coax him into it, tried to tell him how important they were but it didn't make any difference what I said and all I accomplished was driving myself crazy.
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