My 96-year-old father is mobile but doesn’t wipe himself after his bowel movements. How can I get him to clean himself?

Baby Wipes!
get a nice supply of those and yes, someone needs to get in there and make a shiny hiney.
This is the single hardest thing with caregiving and if you approach it right and don't make a big deal out of it you have a shot of making this work.
He's going to say anything and do anything but if you can get it across that he will feel better and be healthier maybe he'll let you.
tell him, hey if you broke your arm I'd feed you some dinner.... this is the same thing. You need help and I'm here to give it!
My mom went through an adjustment period with this issue just like everybody's mom and dad did.
Big change.

Good luck,
lovbob

my dad is almost 88 yrs old . i have to take him to the bathroom . yes i have to wipe his butt . you may have to start doing that for him .
the poop left in his crack will get sore and infections will set in .
good luck ...

I see that some caregivers have gone so far as to install a bidet for cleaning their loved ones backsides. Maybe some who have done that will report on how well it resolves the issue.

It may be a matter of memory loss, but it can also be a diminished ability to reach around behind oneself. This is not laziness or obstinance -- it is a physical limitation. Doing extra laundry and cleaning might be worth it to preserve Dad's dignity, but that doesn't solve the very real issue of Dad's health, as Linda points out. Somehow he needs to get clean.

My husband has MS and has toilet problems. I have installed a bidet, to answer jeanniegibbs question. It is wonderful. He really appreciates it. Since he has been using it, there is no mess at all to clean up. I have to sponge bathe him and commended him on how nice it is to clean him and not have to clean up "crap":)

I discovered a sitz bath. This may be obtained from a medical supply store. It is round and fits perfectly into the tiolet bowl. You put water in it, it even has overflow openings back and front. It works wonders and it allows the elderly to do it themselves. I am taking care of my 93 year old mother, and I noticed that after using it with her a couple times, she had started to use it by herself. I was so proud of her, and of course I told her this. She was delightfully pleased to hear me say this.

Be sure to try it out. Water is this best cleanser, and there is no installation. I leave it in her bathroom for her convenience. I also discovered that a lemon smelling soap so far works magically for eliminating the odor of the bm. I know my mom is the freshest smelling elderly in world hands down! Tricks in trade.

Seeing all of these responses will be so very helpful to me! Thank you all so very Much! I'm a gay guy and have always helped my mom and dad dress and bathe in their senior years just to be their for them! I remember one time when my dad went to go and poop. He's always been very modest and one never to ask for anything, let alone help! I'd always make sure he was seated properly then give him time to do his thing standing outside the door. This one time he got up and was on his way and I said I'm coming......he said "I'm ok"....so I stood outside the door anyway. Next thing ya know I hear him yelling my name....I ran into the bathroom and there he lay on the bathroom floor after falling off the toilet and pooping all at the same time and couldn't get up. I had just given him a hot shower and clean clothes. He felt so helpless. I picked him up while saying ...... "looks like we didn't quite make it this time so let me get you back in the shower and get us cleaned up dad -- no big deal --that's what I'm here for". He apologized while saying he just couldn't help it.......I stopped him and said oh dad this is nothing......it happens and it's easier for you and I both to just get you in the shower and get us cleaned up.....I have and had then such a positive, reassuring attitude to ensure that it's not his fault and shit happens! We got him clean and sat in his recliner and put his Little House on the Prairie on tv! After cleaning up the toilet, the walls behind it, the floor and clothes, I was pretty tired. One of those beday things would work wonders for my mom now a days. Where do you get one? Right now I go through a lot of Poise pads for her incontinence, depends like underwear, and the cottonelle fresh wipes. Is their a way to order these items by bulk and save money as apposed to buying at Wal Mart?

I got my bidet on ebay for $30. I had to attach a water hose to the water supply line (which was really easy). I'm a 59 year old woman with no plumbing skills...so if I can do it...anyone can. The seat connects under the toilet seat. There is a valve on the side that you lift up when ready to clean that just sprays you clean. It can be gentle or come out hard, depending on how you open it. Very easy!! You would think that because it is cold water (we have well water so ours is very cold) that it would be uncomfortable, but you are not aware of it at all.

My friends mom is in great health for an 80 year. She has taken a coulpe of falls. She is afraid to do anything even sleep by herself.she wont do anything to help herself not even wipe after going to bath room.she puts off her personal hygeine even when asked she refuses to do/or help with her care.She is so codependent it is pushing her family away.she act like a child,when someone calls or comes by she lays a guilt trip on them.i see the more you give into her wants (not her needs) the more she takes and want. Does seem to care about any body but herself. I know shes lonely she wont let anyone forget. But she is so emoitoinly draining how can i get her to be greatful for what she has and make do with what she has?

I bought a bidet toilet seat online. You need an electrical outlet nearby. Both water and seat are heated. I saw that Kohler now sells a bidet/toilet combination with a sanitizing uv light. I think the Japanese are on to something. All toilets should have this feature, it's really nice to be clean.

@IronMan - thank you for your story. I laughed AND cried. You sound like a wonderful son. I've had similar experience with my mom and am still working on my patience with her because she gets so upset when she has accidents / issues and sometimes takes it out on me as I try to help...but I'm pretty sure that is partly due to her dementia.

Today, I finally started researching bidets and came across this site. (Incidentally, my mom asked for one several years back when her mobility and cognitive functioning was better, but nobody took her seriously.) Because of the hygiene issues she has been having recently, I now take her seriously. I have been reading about the Luxe Bidet This one is designed for females. The slightly less expensive Luxe Bidet Neo 120 is not designed for females and appears to work fine for men (according to the reviews.) These models are not electrical and are less expensive, but should still "do the trick". I would read the reviews and research more bidets to determine if you think you or your loved one might want the additional, nice-to-have features of an electric bidet (e.g., heated water, heated seats, dryer, etc.)

I'll post again after we've used the bidet above for awhile.