My father (89) and has had dementia for probably close to ten years. I finally took him to a neurologist. He was diagnosed almost a years ago. The neurologist evaluated him and stated he was in the mid stages of Alzheimer's disease. When I looked into the stages, I believe has most of the symptoms of stage 5 of the disease.
He lives alone. For several years I have been doing my best to let him live the life he is used to. But, it is taking a toll on me.
For instance: I have to make sure there is some type of food in his home. But, I can only buy items that can be left out on his counter. In the past I have purchased perishable items, put them in the fridge, told him it was there, and then watched it all spoil. He has been wearing the same clothes for years, and fights me when I tell him they are dirty and he needs to wear something else. So, I have to replace the items he wears. I buy the exact same items and try to convince him to put them on. For several years I have had to open his mail box and his mail and make sure the bills get paid, etc. He no longer takes care of his home, a building he owns, or his car (yes, he still drives) I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.
When we approach the subject of assisted living he becomes very angry.
So, my question is, does he have to agree to go into assisted living? How bad do his symptoms have to get before I can just place him into a facility? Do I wait until he hurts himself? Or becomes incontinent? (which could very well be happening, I have found pants in his home with crystallized urine)
I have never dealt with anything like this. I don't know what to expect next. All the doctors tell me is that he shouldn't drive any longer and to do what I can to preserve his dignity.
By the way did I mention he is still working? He has not made money for several years. He keeps taking exorbitant amounts of money from his saving to keep the business open. But, he not only thinks he is making money, he does not remember taking the monies out of his accounts. We have sat down with his accountant on several occasions. But, within seconds the entire conversation is forgotten.
It absolutely frustrating.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.