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My Dad is a retired veteran with dementia my Mom is very ill and has trouble I am only caregiver. My dad won't go to Dr he is incompetent. My mom is in hospital now, they want me to accept responsibility for there care . I will but an disabled myself and this is hard. P

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I'll amend the above. If dad cannot care for himself and is clearly incompetent check with APS before beginning the difficult guardianship process. It may not be necessary.
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Is your dad still in his home? If he's incompetent you need to obtain legal guardianship. You probably don't want mom sent home from the hospital. Find the social worker at the hospital and tell them you are not able to care for your folks. Hopefully they will have your mom placed in care if she is released.

If dad is in danger at home contact APS in your area and again explain they you are not able to care for him.
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Do not accept responsibility for their care. If you are collecting disability you cannot be a paid caregiver. Your disability payments will stop.
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