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hi I started yesturday with this lovely 94 year old who has a care in the morning and evenng , I suposse to go in at lunchtime and serve her lunch and just be there for her for two hours . well had a text last night saying the lady does need me , but the other care help and me know differently , how do I get her to trust me I know its only been a day, and what happens if does not want me to do to anything for those two hours ? she has a cleaner , did some ironing yesturday . How do I get her to reliase she needs me and for her to be happy with me .

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Take it in little steps. Don't appear like you're trying "too hard." Let the relationship grow based on her cues. Be kind and gentle. Try to determine her interests, and gradually engage her in conversation. Do thoughtful "little things for her." I used to warm my MIL's robe in the dryer so she could step right into it out of the shower. She loved that more than anything else that I did.
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I'd also try to talk to the other caregiver to see what needs to be done, since she's been there longer. Who hired you? The 94 year old woman or someone else? Whoever hired you should be able to give you some idea of things you could be dong while you're there. For many seniors, change is very hard. So bringing in a new person is scary and stressful for them. So hang in there if you can!
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How about finding out her interests or bringing coffee and a treat (donuts, pastry, etc). Then open the conversation by asking her about family picture she has or a book she's reading or a painting, quilt or other personal item she has in the house. If she is able, see if she'll go for a walk with you or just sit out on the porch with you and talk about the day, birds trees etc.

Small steps and keep trying. It is very hard to accept help and relinquish control. Even though you are there to help, she likely sees it as an invasion of privacy. My mom did and refused every caregiver or outside help. We gave up but I hope you won't.
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