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I have always been there for my Mom and always will to the best of my capabilities. Recently she let me 62 y/o brother move in with her "just for a month till he found a job" That was a year ago. This is not the first time this has happened. My brother has always been lazy and self centered, My mother has always allowed it. Right before he moved back in 1 year ago She put everything in a trust in her name and made me the trustee should she not be able to. My mother does not have dementia, I am quite sure by law she is able to make her own decisions even if they are poor ones. My question is If and when something happens to her, If she dies or gets so sick she comes to my house as promised I then become the trustee Legally do I have to give him so much notice, go through the eviction process Do I have to hire an attorney?

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We can hope that he would leave of his own accord, but it doesn't sound likely.

In that case, you may have to get legal assistance. Sometimes that's the only way to handle these things, though of course it will cause more problems between you and your brother. Good luck,
Carol
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Had similar with my siblings... 3 have moved back in at different times over the years, meaning my patents never got the retirement they deserved, and didn't sell the big house and move to a more practical elserly comunity development.
Dad used to moan and bitch to me about them and blame mum for being a soft touch, but y'know what, it was his house and he could have laid the law down any time. Took me a while, but I eventually stopped blaming my siblings and realised it was my dad's decision and responsibility.
And there is part of us as parents that actually likes having our kids need us.
Your mum probably enjoys the company and looking after him. I can imagine I'd be like that when I'm older. Must be lonely at times for your mum. Try to see it that way.
(My sister lost her house and has now taken up residence in parents house, but actually it has a silver lining of being company for my dad and a live in alert should he have a fall etc.
He moans about her (she's messy and lacks common sense, which frustrates him,) but I think that with mum in hospital (7 weeks now), he likes
the company.

Legally I know you cannot evict a spouse, but I am not sure about siblings.
You'll need to sell the house to free up capital for her care.
Speak to your mum about it gently now.
I suspect right now she likes his company.
But you do need to discuss and plan for the future.
She won't want him 'homeless'. Maybe out of the the sale the house she could pay deposit and six months rent for your brother on an apartment to get him on his feet again? (Cheaper than paying lawyers to evict him, and prevents destruction of your relationship with your brother)

Try not to despise him, I've been there. (Just made me angry, didn't change the situation)
Try to find the positives about him being there right now.(company and safety for your mum, he can do maintenance stuff?)

(I do think it's a good job you have financial PoA!!)
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My Mom did the same with my brother. She took him in "temporarily". It lasted till SHE could no longer stay in her home. She could no longer get up the stairs, and that is where the toilet/bath facilities are. He had lost his job, had a heart attack, lost his home. He came with a lot of stuff and kind of took over her space. He was messy and loud. She had wanted to use her home to be hospitable to her church group, but was always embarrassed that she couldn't get him to keep the agreement to confine his stuff. I was very sad for her, but she made the choice not to get tougher. He was working and paying rent for a while, but he had a health event after which he never went back to work. So for several years he kind of "freeloaded" off my mom. He did try to look after her, and I know she appreciated that he was there, but there were a lot of things that were let go. I remember one time going down there (they were 600 miles from me) and the house reeked of stale urine. I found trash bags of Depends all over the house...tucked under mom's dresser, tucked behind her chair, sitting by the door to go out to the trash. My mom, in her early dementia, was insisting that the bags were not FULL therefore it was not cost-efficient to take them out. And my brother did not fight her on issues like that. Some of her needs were answered with impatience and grudging compliance because what she needed was interrupting something he wanted to do for himself. Sort of like middle-schoolers when told they need to do their chores. They always say "I'll do it in just a minute" or "I'll get to it". But it doesn't happen.

Like the cat box. It did not get scooped as often as it should have. And the cat was one to vomit a lot, and they just dropped paper towels on the vomit and then walked around it.

Bottom line is, you have to assess whether your brother's presence is more of a positive influence or whether it is not. You should ask him straight up, what is his plan when your mom is gone? He NEEDS to have a plan. I still remember sitting in my mom's attorney's office with Mom and my brother, working over some estate issues. The lawyer looked at my brother and asked him point blank, "what is your plan when your mom passes? She is 84 years old, and whether we like it or not, she is not going to live forever". His face went kind of dark, he was backed into a corner. He said, "ummm, I don't really have one". Lawyer reminded him he NEEDED to GET one. He never did though.

Ask your brother: What is your plan?

Read through ALL your trust documents. There can be things buried in there that talk about the situation if one beneficiary should need housing. You need to make sure of exactly what those documents say, which means you can not skim them. You must scour them. If you need to, you can run your situation by an elder law attorney and get an idea what your options are. You need to know what kind of trust she created, and what your responsibilities are as trustee. You need to know if the trust demands all assets to be distributed to beneficiaries upon your mom's death, or if it spells out exceptions.

Just a few disorganized thoughts for you.
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Good grief! You are worrying needlessly about events that have not occurred and probably never will. Don't you realize mothers and sons have a much stronger bond than mothers and daughters? It is her house. It is her decision to allow him to stay, and as a trustee of her estate, until she dies or becomes incapacitated by doctors, you have no say in her business. Stop being a jealous sister and try to get along. Your brother is who he is, and leave him alone. He is probably company for your mother and she obviously likes the arrangement. Chill...
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You are creating problems before the problems even exist. Clearly your mother consents to your brother living there & that is her choice. Obviously one day she will pass away, & if your brother is still living there, then you can deal with the situation. You have no idea if, by then, he will be living someplace else & you won't have anything to worry about or if he will still be there.

If he is still there & your mother passes, even though he would have been considered a month-to-month tenant (which I am not even sure he would legally be considered since he is family & was just living with your mother without a lease to memorialize his tenancy), the ownership of the home would change & you are not legally required to continue the same agreement that your brother had with your mother. If the home is left to you & no one else, you can evict him since you will own the house after she is gone----that is, if she owned the house outright & there were no mortgages or reverse mortgages on the house.

This arrangement bothers you much more than it bothers her, & you're creating stress for yourself that doesn't exist & may never exist. This is what she wants, so don't worry about it. Even though you look at your brother as a lazy freeloader, he is still her son & that is how she will always look at it.
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I have no intention of putting my mother in a nursing home. I have always taken care of all of her needs. I cleaned her condo weekly when she was ling alone in her condo, 6 yrs. she stays at my house every winter or when she is sick, I have bathed her when needed. cleaned her bottom when needed stayed in the hospital 24 hrs when she is sick and always done her meds and dr appts. My brother never has and never will "help her" in any way. All he does is make more work for her and me. He is not disabled just plain selfsh. I am not jealous of him nor do I believe he is protecting her from anyone. Its just the 2 of us. All he wants is a free ride as usual
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ranbrew, if your mother comes to live with you, chances are you would put her condo on the market for sale, unless the condo is to be willed over to your brother.... as you wouldn't want to keep paying utilities, property taxes, and maintenance on the unit.

In the mean time, I hope your brother is caring for his mother, getting the groceries, taking her to doctor appointments, etc.
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DrJackdds, I wouldn't recommend doing the shrimp thing, especially if one plans to put the place up for sale. That smell could get into the carpets, the cabinets, the paint on the walls, etc. Thus more work for the owner to clean/paint/install new carpet, etc.
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Thank you all so much for the comments and insight. Please understand I do recognize the fact that she enjoys his company. I also appreciate the fact that he will drive her to get groceries and to get her hair done. He does not clean anything. nor does he contribute financially to his own upkeep or her care. I myself am a mother of 2 boys. I have not nor will I enable my children under any circumstances. My brother needs to be on his own for his own good. Trust me when my mother is gone I will not support him. The condo is to be sold and each get half The longer my brother lives there with his 2 cats and no one cleaning the it is going to cost to prepare the condo to sell. I am certainly not "jealous" of my brother.
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My adult brother freeloaded off of my mother his entire life. By doing so he did not grow and mature and she put up with his drugs and dirty living just so she could have company. I explained to my mother that with the drugs and drinking his mind was not there anyway and by letting him freeload and not contribute to anything she was doing him a big disservice. My brother now is forced to live on his own and has ended up in jail many times. IF my brother contributed to my mothers well being and if they had a healthy relationship I see no problem of him living there. Many people die of lonesomeness so they tolerate just about any kind of abuse. My other 3 siblings would talk to mom and she always accused us of being envious of our youngest brother. He was busy doing his usual drugs and drinking and she was dehydrated and almost died, he got arrested and almost put into prison for neglect and abuse of an elderly. I hired a lawyer and helped him get out of it because I knew she was to blame too for allowing him to not contribute and to constantly take her money. He absolutely did NOTHING to help her yet she would lie about how good he was just to keep his warm body in the house. My siblings and I were always very concerned and of course wanted our mom to have company, but good healthy company not bring the drugs and drug infected people to her home. Bottom line, if the relationship is a healthy one and it works for both of them let it be.
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