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Fifty five year old brother moved in with my mother due his own poor health condition expecting her to care for him despite opposition from other siblings. He has applied for subsidized housing, qualifies for his own housing, but won't follow through and move out. He has hoarded mother's apartment and threatened other tenants when they suggest he help our mother. Eighty five year old mother would like for him to leave, but he refuses. Other siblings have tried to help get him out, but he's been defensive and he feels victimized. My mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer and other siblings are concerned about quality of life issues for 85 year old mother. Main concern is that the mother has become the caretaker for her son. I am holding a family meeting at my home to hopefully get all siblings on board to help get him to follow up with his own housing options and move on his own. My mother suffers from low self esteem and finds it difficult to ask for help. She has asked him to leave, but he won't. She did ask for help from her other children to get 55 year old brother out and wants to live independently in her one bedroom apartment and clear out belongings accumulated by 55 year old son.

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Sorry I assumed mom owned the apartment. She is not able to subletlegaaly. Now I agree that the apartment manager can be your most valuable resource. Let him/her set him out.
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Mom should draw up a lease and start charging son rent and utilities. He has quite possibly forgotten how the real world works. That money can be put toward mom's present and expected expenses. He may be a real cad and just a smoocher. He should not be getting any kind of benefits if he has no expenses himself aside from medical. Can he work at all? Does he have a mental illness? His hoarding is a form of mental illness and putting his elderly parent through this situation is elder abuse since you indicate she has lost control of the situation. Sounds also like he may has separation anxiety from mom or spoiled and does not know how to live on his own? I hate that siblings have to be the heavies but you must look out for mom;s interests. You can call in aging services or the office that gives subsidized housing who could assist in getting the ball rolling through their observations and mom's imput to them. You may have to help him first before you address mom's health issues. What will happen to this apartment when mom leaves it? Will you be able to put him out or can he continue to live there indefinitely. Does mom have a will? an attorney? Maybe mom is wishy washy when she speaks to him. The ultimatum needs to come from mom. Has she been firm enough? Tough love is hard but necessary for individual growth and progress and mom's quality of life can not improve under these circumstances and neither can your brother's.I can tell you love your brother and want something good for him as well. Bless you siblings as you navigate this tricky family situation that has probably gone on too long already. Mom is fortunate to have you in her corner. I wish you success.
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Pardon the error. I see it is a one-bedroom after I read again. The situation reminded me of another on here, where a man was staying in his mother's studio apartment.
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Use the Lease as an out.... only your Mother is allowed to live in the one bedroom apartment according to the Lease. A second adult isn't allowed to *live* in the same apartment unless his name is on the Lease, and only if that person qualifies to be able to pay the rent. If the landlord finds out of this living arrangement, he/she might not renew your mother's lease.

Another suggestion, maybe it's time for Mom to move into an independent senior facility, and your brother would be way too young to be allowed to move in with her. Just a thought.
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It sounds like you're doing what needs to be done by getting all the siblings together. I hope it doesn't become necessary to serve him with an eviction notice. I can't imagine a man wanting to sleep on the couch in his mother's studio apartment for more than a day or two. I hope you can get him out fast. I know it is mighty stressful for your mother. If he won't leave, I would contact the apartment management in your position. They probably have rules about residency and may be able to help you. Good luck!
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Well if he has some sort of mental disability, get social services involved. If he is threatening people he needs to be sent in for a 72 hour psych eval. I would ask Social Services to do regular wellness checks on her. All he has to do is threaten them and THEY can have him locked up. And they WILL.
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