I live with my father and have been his primary caregiver for 5 years now. At Christmas, I finally asked my 2 sisters and one brother for help, I am burnt out.
My older sister, the oldest child, has always had issues because our brother was our Mom's favorite (she passed away over 6 years ago). Then you add twin baby sisters and she had no chance of getting attention. She has to have the last word in every conversation. Most things she says or does must be praised, or she gets her feelings hurt. She is hyper effecient and organized. She is helpful, but she wears me out more than helping dad does!! I hate to be forced to compliment someone. Repeated compliments make me crazy.
I quit work to care for Dad so I have no where to hide from her. Because she lives out of town, she too is here 24/7. I had hoped that I could go do things, unfortunately, most people I want to do things with are at work or in school. If Dad is having a good day, she wants to come with me. My son plays sports in the evenings, so I do get to go to his practices and games without her. It is too long of a time for Dad to be alone.
I take naps when Dad does for two reasons, one to get rest because I dont sleep well listening for him at night, and two, to get away from her.
She only stays 5-9 days at a time, then my other sister comes for a week. Unfortunately, the other thing that is getting to me is the fact they are now not covering weekends because they have prior commitments. Uh, hello, weekends off in the summer were what I was looking for as well. I deserve to be able to take mini trips and spend all day at a park with my son too.
This has only been going on for about 6 weeks and I already am looking for a new alternative. Dad is under Hospice care at home. Some days I think he will still be here at Christmas, other days I think he wont make it to the end of the week.
I want their life. You know, the one where I can walk away from the sickness whenever I want, make plans for fun things and keep them, live in a house that doesnt smell of poop. And yet, she needs me to thank her and praise her for her sacrifice 24/7. She also mentions how stressful paying for all these flights to come here is. GRRRRRRRRR
HELP!!!! I spend a lot of energy just grinning and bearing it. I have to bite my tongue constantly!!