How do I get a diaper on a larger patient who refuses to roll side to side or cooperate?

I am waiting to hear some answers from those posters who claim that caring for an elder is just like caring for a baby, and that after all they diapered you and now it is your turn to diaper them.

My stepdad has lung problems, is on oxygen, fibrosis that hardens the lungs, restricts his breathing if on his side. We are currently doing the side roll but the compression of his lungs makes him cough, which causes fecal matter to express at each spasm. Clean up is continuous as well as extremely painful to him because he can't get the air. Is there any way to clean up while staying on his back with elevated head? He is 95 and unable to assist much...knee problems and 200 lbs.

My MIL has always been extraordinarily stubborn and now that she is at this stage of her disease..........well she just refuses anything I ask her. She appears to take pleasure in saying no. I don't say that lightly. I really think she enjoys it and gets a smirk on her face..........it creeps me out. She is not in pain but I notice she rarely rolls over in bed on her own and I think that's because of her weight. My wonderful husband (her son) died 3 1/2 years ago after an awful cancer battle. He was the perfect patient and we weathered the storm together. I adored him and I miss him in every corner. So I can't call on his help but I do call on my son and my son in law at times to help me.
The rejection and hateful things my MIL says to me would be categorized as serious verbal abuse. It is easy to say "don't let it bother you." But that's tough when the comments are so personal. (And when I am ducking to avoid a punch) I'm looking to sedating meds at this time.

Hospice will be very supportive with the sedating meds but they won't help your back just the bruises she inflicts. Sometimes you must wonder how such an unpleasant woman managed to create such a loving man as your dear husband.
You have been a very giving person to care for your husbands mother but unless she is very close to death maybe now is the time to consider a nursing home. You know her and your strengths so discuss it with your hospice nurse and do what is right for you. Talk to your son and son in law too they are a rare breed in this world and a blessing to you in their willingness to help with MIL it can't be something they look forward to. You can be very proud of them. I hope you can find a solution to all this. It is so much worse with the violence too. Perhaps a large hammer would be the solution!!!!!!!

I have an idea! Tie a rope to each of her ankles and attach them to pullys in the ceiling and have your son and son in law haul on the ends till her massive butt is off the bed. Then you do the necessary and they can lower her back down.
she will be too shocked she won't have the chance to swing at you and for a change YOU can have a smirk on your face.

P.S. if she is as unco-operative with hospice they will brave the darkest underworld and introduce her to Mr Foley.

Well it is Jeannie when they weight 70 lbs and follow your instructions with a sweet smile on their faces.

Ask the visiting nurses to demonstrate the technique of rolling the patient onto one side, tucking the diaper under the hip, and rolling them to the other side to finish up. You might have to switch to a diaper that open on the side. If you don't have visiting nurses, ask the doctor to order them.

You could get some smoke going and yell "fire" that might move her. other than that do as Psiegman suggested. When you have help you could fold a strong sheet in half and put it across the bed. that way your would have some leverage to roll her over. Without help this is N/H territory you can't do this alone you will wreck your back and where will she be then

Teepa snow dementia expert has fantastic videos on YouTube explaining how brain failure (dementia) can sometimes cause care receivers to do strongly resistant opposite reactions than you are trying to get them to do. They are not always trying to be defiant. Something about mixed up signals in the brain. It can look like they are causing trouble on purpose. I took care of someone that did that and she was driving me nuts, I would try to distract her, or wait for her to change out of those behaviors. Then I found Teepa snow and understand more of what was happening. Good luck with your MIL,don't hurt yourself with the struggles!