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The gerontologist tol mum (against my advice and wishes) that she had dementia. Yes he explained it in a really nice way but I know my Mum only too well - while it was memory loss she was happy now it is dementia she has gone into a depressive mode and the disease seems to be progressing really rapidly now and I dont know what to do to stop it. She cannot unhear his words and I am really cross he didnt listen to me. All she has heard is dementia and we have gone from her doing some things for herself to a constant focus on dying and an unwillingness to anything for herself save eat and drink. I ewven wipe her hands clean which she was easily able to do for herself. If I suggest she does it she says I am too shaky.

I am so frustrated but hoping you all can offer some advice. Her own doctor will not increase the antidepressants she is on

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Oh I know what she has she has Vascualr dementia Alzheimers and potentially Lewy Body although thathasnt been confirmed as yet so mixed dementia. If he had told her it all we would be in a nightmare right now. Mums decline is starting to speed up which is why I thought he decided to tell her but in all honesty I wish he had kept his mouth shut. She is now not wanting to do anything. Up until he told her she was able to stand and walk to the commode with the aid of a rollator now she struggles to do that and all in the space of a week. basically she has given up. We had a long talk over the weekend and she is clearly severely anxious about the diagnosis and wants to know how long she has got.. I told her the doctor said proably 8 years which would make her 100 to which she replied cant I just go now? very very distressing to her and to me. I know dementia isnt the end of the world but it is to her it is the one thing she was always frightened of.
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So the doc said dementia and not Alzheimers? There are a bunch of different kinds of dementias and some are even reversible. Here's a link to Mayo Clinic's take on dementias or dementia-like conditions that can be reversed:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dementia/basics/causes/con-20034399?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=abstract&utm_content=Dementia&utm_campaign=Knowledge-panel

My mom is 95 and has no short-term memory and her cognitive skills are definitely impacted. (I've never felt the need to get her diagnosed). I just tell her it's from the medications she's been on for her heart. She's very stable and doesn't seem to get worse, so dementia (if it's not Alzheimers) isn't the end of the world.

And even if it is Alzheimers, if you explain more about dementia to your mom, maybe it will give her some hope (even if it doesn't apply to her in the end). We all need hope! Good luck and please keep us posted.
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I think like most cancer patients she did know she just never wanted it uttered because then it becomes real. When they tell me I have dementia I am hoping I have the option to say OK thats it time to go let me have the pills
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We seniors should be ready for the diagnosis of dementia since it is becoming so prevelent. God bless her and her family.
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Shed only just see one the week before and he CHOSE NOT to tell her she had dementia - I am so angry you cannot imagine. The Psych KNOWS my mum was terrified of getting dementia which is what prompted his choice of words. My choice of words? well if I miss out the expletives I have nothing to say
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Perhaps her cuurent antidepressant can't be increased because she's at the maximum dose. Has she been in to see the geriatric psychiatrist since this recent development? She may need an additional medication, or a different one all together.
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