Follow
Share

I'm a full time carer for a 80year old gentlemen, a few months ago he had a fall and seems to gone of his legs and has no desire to continue living, refuses food and makes caring for him very difficult and frustrating. Tried giving him nutrient milk drinks or glocose drinks to help with his blood glocose levels but just lately he's been having bouts of diarrhea..could any one advise on the best course of treatment for him?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Michael, you appear to be a very caring person, and doing all you can. I am a gerontological nurse, and recently cared for a gentleman in his 90's. One decided to end his life by starvation. He researched the subject, and stopped eating, anticipating death in approximately 15 days. Although he lived closer to a month afterward, he could not be dissuaded (although he did intermittently eat pudding and ice cream about 15 days into his fast). If your friend refuses care, including food, I think the most you can do is provide loving support. Having a POA may not change the situation, as a POA goes into effect only when the individual is no longer able to make decisions.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thankyou that was really kind of you, I've spoken to him and you are right he's got nothing to look forward to only the past that was pretty sad..I can understand that anything is better then living like this is body is worn out but the mind is still all there..I suppose all I can do is make sure he's clean and warm and safe and I'm there when he needs me..Thank you for your kind letter it was very much appreciated. .take care
Michael
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This is very hard on you, Michael. I could say you must respect his decision, and the doctor is right, and that would be true; but you're the one who has to be there every day and see this sad decline in someone you obviously care about very much.

I can see his point of view. He's seriously disabled. He has no family. He probably feels terribly tired and ill most of the time. He doesn't have, realistically, anything good to look forward to. Could you blame him for wanting to stop the world and get off?

But that doesn't mean he doesn't value your care, concern and day to day presence. He must do. It just doesn't, in itself, give him a reason to want to carry on. Are you able to talk to him about how sorry you are that he feels like this?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I've know him 25years and we're in the motor trade together I went into semi retirement and he had various health problems Inc heart attack small stroke and serious stroke he hasn't got any family so asked me to be his personal carer that was two and half years ago unfortunately he fell a few weeks ago and since then seems to have given up on life just wants to die..He refuses any food and makes caring for him very difficult it's very sad because I'm very close to him..The only thing I seem able to do is feed him nutritious drinks and glucose drinks he just spits any food out.at the moment he doesn't seem to have lost any weight and the drinks seem to be working for the time being.it's his mind set that is a worry he wants out this life and seems to of lost interest in everything eating drinking watching TV just lays in is bed most of the day..he's definitely depressed but there doesn't seem anything I can do to cheer him up???
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I heard dr oz say once that an egg a day would keep frailty away. Of course there isn't enough calories in one egg if that's all he had. Perhaps make him small snacks and leave them where he can easily get them. Like a boiled egg or a soft scrambled egg sandwich. Or small piece of cheese and a cracker. After his stomach has settled perhaps try a malt or milk shake or something you know he once liked. Can you tell if he is dehydrated? Check the skin on his hands. Is he an underweight person to begin with?
I see that he is your friend and he has had a heart attack. How long ago did he have the heart attack? He might be on new meds that are disagreeing with him? He's lucky to have you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Frankly the doctor sounds like an @$$. So many of us are caring for elders in their 90's and beyond, so to me is seems rather premature to be giving up on investigating the reason for his decline and looking for a solution. Too soon his weight loss will cause frailty and he will become a fall risk and eventually become bed bound, you either need to take steps to stop the downward spiral or accept that it is a logical progression for him (you haven't really said what his health status is) and make appropriate preparations. It is very difficult for one caregiver to look after someone when they reach that level and some tough choices may need to be made. From the wording of your question I assume you are a hired caregiver, who will make those decisions for him, who is his POA?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Have spoken to the doctor and explained the situation about him not eating and was told that it was his decision and not to force him to eat ? The doctor did check him and was happy him still living at home, I'm in twice a day early mornings and again in the afternoons, I keep checking his blood glucose levels twice a day and have them under control no problem, I'm just concerned about the lack of calories he's getting and feel very frustrated I'm unable to do a proper job of looking after him?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree with the other 2 answers, a Dr. needs to be consulted. That he's also having diarrhea is concerning.

Try some crackers or jello or soup. Juice. A piece of fruit. But don't force him to eat and don't shame him if he doesn't eat.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Does he allow you to check his blood sugar? Be careful of him not eating and taking his diabetic medication. He could pass out if his blood sugar goes too low. I agree with CWillie, call his doctor and report his condition. 
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

His condition needs to be reported to the doctor and an appropriate course of action decided, he may improve with appropriate treatment or he may be ready for hospice. Who is his POA? Does he not have anyone looking out for him besides you?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.