Mom lives in New York City by herself. Adult Protective Services was contacted and have opened a case against her. They want to receive guardianship over her and started the process. As her son, I did not know about this option and now want to become her guardian.

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There has to be a reason you did not know mom was in this situation. Bad blood? Mom's mentally ill? APS contacted me when mthr needed help and wanted me to take on guardianship. Why did they not find you first?
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When my mother took my father home from the emergency room against doctors orders that he needed to be admitted- they called APS.

I knew absolutely nothing about it until three days later when they both had a medical crisis at the same time. After they we both in the hospital I went to their house to get some stuff for them and found the business card from the APS guy - who had been to the house.

So - instead of asking my parents, who were sure to lie about it - I called the guy and introduced myself.

To my horror he told me APS had begun the process of gaining emergency guardianship of my father.

Once I explained to him how my parents had been hiding their health issues and even lying - mom: "yes Rain, your father was checked at the ER and they said he was fine" - the APS guy was willing to work with me, but just barely. He gave me 48 hours to come up with a provable plan for my fathers care - both immediate and long term.

I was able to do it and after that I never heard from APS again - until someone reported my mothers driving! But that's another thread.

I did have to step in and manage my parents care and lives for the next six years. It was all consuming and the stress of it nearly broke me mentally and physically.

Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. "Be careful what you wish for". Know what you're getting in to before you sign up for this.
Helpful Answer (1)

Are you sure you want the job? Think it through carefully before you contest guardianship - it isn't just a matter of being a good, loving son, it can also be a question of practicalities.
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Talk to APS and make your case. They certainly would rather have family or guardian step up, or the DPOA vs them getting attorney or court involved. In my case APS was involved and helped me get my DPOA invoked. They worked with me and pressed mom doctor to sign incompetency based on the social workers reports, observations and my documented observations and dealings with mom.

My experience is that they gladly will look at family first to care for elder unless there is clear reason to not to..
Helpful Answer (4)

Check with a New York attorney, and your Mom should have an attorney too. In some states the courts prefer family as a guardian, however you may need to explain why you were unable to help her showing you can and will protect her. With that said, the confidentiality of the complaint to Adult Protective Services generally precludes you from knowing "who" complained and why, unless the Worker at Adult Protective Services is exploring financial exploitation.
Helpful Answer (3)

Get a lawyer. They must petition the court for guardianship and a judge will make the final decision on who should be appointed, you need to be able to demonstrate why the best person is you.
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