My 89 year old mom lives in her (and my) hometown in an elderly apartment receiving some state funded in home care. I live about 2 hrs away with my husband and 12 yr old daughter. (Another story if you are asking why she doesn't live with me). I speak frequently with her care manager and apt building mgr, and we all are feeling she needs more in home services. She can get more if she could qualify for Medicaid. The only asset that is preventing her from receiving Medicaid is the combined cash value of her life insurance policies. She paid into them for years so she could have a decent burial (not talking extravagant in any sense) without leaving a huge bill for her family.
Guess what, turns out that funeral estimates (scaled down version) are about $8,500. She has just under $4,000 in cash value (if she cashes in the policies). If she keeps the policies, the death benefits would actually cover the entire funeral cost, but disqualifies her for Medicaid. We are feeling now that she has to choose between getting services today vs having a funeral when the time comes. Are there any funeral providers out there that can provide what is needed to elderly people without having a one size fits all full retail priced funeral? I spoke to 4 different funeral directors and all but 1 said the family should step in and cover the rest! Well, I am the only family that has stepped in so far, so that means I need to come up with (and sign to it in writing) at least $4,500 (which I don't have), or Mom doesn't get the services she needs today through Medicaid. And that's just to cover the funeral, nevermind any other final expenses when the time comes! We will followup with the one funeral director that has mentioned trying to work with and possibly adding monthly pmts to what she has.
But, I am feeling like we're between a rock and a hard place that even preplanning may not resolve this helplessness. Has anyone had to deal with this and do you have any suggestions?