Follow
Share

Just to rehash the subject................I really dislike how my home is now grand central station and wonder if any of you have that problem.
I appreciate a sitter but can't help but dislike someone wandering around my home when I'm gone. Especially a snoopy relative.
And all the talking when they arrive and then when I get back, they stay and stay to chat. Ugh. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I was thinking of something else. If you take the two days off and they still want to help ask them to help without your MIL there. That is if you want the person in your house. There is also yard work that could be done. Just thinking.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You really do need the two days off to get things done around the house.
This is not an excuse. You will also need to rest a little yourself after the wedding.
I feel this way after a vacation. The more people around the more work you have to do. Also love the above answer about putting them to work. Things listed as work above are not unreasonable to ask someone to do. Things done of this nature will really be a help for you instead of them just coming into you house and having them watch you love one watching TV. Take the 2 days to regroup for yourself. Those two days will go fast enough.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

No, I put them to work. When they ask what they can do, I ask them to vacuum or do laundry or dishes. It effectively sorts out the snoops from those genuinely willing to help you. Ditch your guilt and put them to work, and tell them you haven't had a shower in days and go take a long hot one. And a nap. LOL.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Marialake I would tell him thanks but no thanks, I need the 2 days time. I have things around the house I need to do..
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I will be attending a wedding in 2 weeks which will require me to be away for about 7 hours. My normal sitter is not available so I decided to take advantage of the 2 night respite care that hospice offers. They will come and get my MIL by ambulance and then return her in 2 days. Hospice offers this once a month but I've only ever done it once before and it went well.
I mentioned this to my BIL who says he doesn't want her to go to the hospice facility..... and he will watch her in my house instead.
I don't want him in my house for 7 hours. Is he a horrible person? No............but I don't want him in my house and I don't really trust him. He snoops around and Lord know what else.
I told him that hospice would be a nice change for her and kept her on the schedule. Hopefully he will back down.
My dear husband would be appalled at this :(
He never trusted his brother either.
So the question......
Do you have trouble turning away helpers that you don't want around?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, having lots of people - even 'helpful' people coming and going can make your head spin. Remember to 'breathe' deeply a few times a day. If momma needs 24 hr care - to keep her comfy - then do what needs to be done. Otherwise, it could overwhelm you. We empathize with you - it takes a special person to be a care giver - We know that - even if no one else acknowledges it. :0) Bless you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I totally understand and feel the same as you. I'm going bonkers feeling like I line in ALF . We have a caregiver from 8:00 to 12:00 M-F for my MIL. Home health aid for my MIL and FIL 3 times a week, for 2 hrs. in the afternoon. Nurse every Tuesday morning at 9:30 for wellness check for the both of them. Caregiver M-F at 8:00 at night for MIL nightly routine for bed. This on top of trying to reconcile the end of life hospice care that I have done for 18 mos. for my momma. We are getting close to the end, and the nurse wants 24 hr. care for her, I said No, I can't handle any more people in and out. I'm so sorry you are feeling this...my thoughts are with you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

For me - the once every year or two visit from my MIL's other kids just means MORE WORK for me. I have to clean her apt. top to bottom and clean my house top to bottom. I know - I shouldn't feel like I HAVE to clean - but I do. :0(

Then there are meals to prepare.

Last time I sat there at watched her give away her heirlooms to a granddaughter who has NEVER ONCE - before this one time - visited or called or written to her grandmother. Yet, my MIL felt compelled to give away her mother's heirloom china. Go figure. OH WELL!

So, each time the family comes, more 'stuff' goes with them. My husband said he would have liked his mom to ask him if there was anything from the family that he would like - but she never has and she has lived here 9 years.

I guess MIL needs to feel that someone will remember her even if all they remember is who gave them the 'stuff.' :0(

All I can say is we are always glad to see them leave.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.