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My socially active MIL has been making extremely bad financial decisions and has now been "romance" scammed, online, three times. Most likely by the same "famous" person that disappears when the family finds out and reappears as someone else a couple of months later. Now she has asked for a separation from her spouse (he is aware of the issue). She controls all of their finances and refuses any and all interventions by loved ones trying to protect both her and her assets. She reacts with fury that anyone should question her.

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Yes, her husband needs to find a way to get to the money. He may need to get conservatorship over her. Her spending affects him. He needs to protect himself.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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This is her husband's problem to solve. Unless your husband is his Mom's PoA (or some other capable adult child), no one has any power in this situation except her husband. Does he have cognitive issues? How is he not blocking her access to the internet? More information would be helpful.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Tell her husband to get a shark divorce attorney and to interview with a lot of them so that they can’t represent her.

Then he can file for separation and the attorney can help him separate his finances from hers.

Divorce is expensive and stressful and there will be nothing like her getting smacked in the face with reality…. She may very well be blindsided, then you all might be able to figure out if this is mental illness or dementia.
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Reply to Bulldog54321
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This is now, according to those who control the manual of DSM-5, something that experts are trying to get a clear picture of in order to make it a psychiatric diagnosis. And they haven't yet figured how to do that (as they HAVE with Hoarding). The fact is that romance scams are a mental illness rather than dementia for those who fall for them. They are otherwise capable, but in the case of scams they are much like conspiracy theorists. They seem to get CAUGHT up in it and unable to see logic or extricate themselves when otherwise they are fine.

There may be little that can ultimately be done by this. Were I the spouse I would see a divorce attorney for legal division of assets and separation, and that even were I to stay in the home with the spouse. That will be crucial for his protection. As to the rest of it, there won't be a likelihood of winning conservancy or guardianship. It is worth seeing an attorney about.

I myself would begin with a call to, and discussion with APS. You can SKIP all the discussions and attempts at convincing this woman that Brad Pitt is not in love with her. You won't succeed and it is a waste of energy.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Fawnby May 16, 2025
Oh! Good! That means there's still a chance for Brad and me!!!
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