A friend of mine is going through a difficult time with her 88 year old mother. Her mother doesn't really have health issues but has a mental illness, delusional disorder. Her mom keeps saying that the building's maintenance man is after her. She sent a letter to the office and an investigation was done and of course, the accusations were not true. She had a UTI that she wouldn't go to the doctor for. She's always been like that. The problem is that she really needs to be placed somewhere to get the kind of care she needs but my friend is afraid that no place will accept her because she's ambulatory and can dress herself, feed herself, bathe etc. My friend is disabled and can't take care of her mom and the other two sisters don't have room and can't handle the mental illness. Is there anything they can do? Is there any way they can get her placed in a facility that can handle her mental problems ? They need to know what their options are. If she keeps up with this accusation against the maintenance man she'll get kicked out of her apartment.

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Just wondering how your friend is doing?
Maybe my story might help a little.
When my Uncle passed in October, I flew to California to be with my Aunt and help with funeral arrangements. Quickly realized that what I thought was just normal memory loss associated with age, was to the point that I knew I couldn't leave her alone in her home. Totally unsafe!!
I became her POA. I took her several times to her Doctor. He diagnosed her with Moderate Cognitive Impairment.
He did tell me that she shouldn't be alone, but never documented it.
I knew my Aunt would never agree to leave her home. Yet I knew she couldn't stay. I live in another state.
After lots of research, I did the "therapeutic fib".
Told her that her house needed repairs and she needed to stay at the facility I found until repairs were done.
As heartbreaking as it is, as POA I was able to sign all the paperwork and sell her house so that she could live off the proceeds.
Please tell your friend that the right thing is often the hardest thing.
I have been guilt ridden and in anguish for months!
Having said that, my Aunt, although she still wants to go home, actually loves where she is.
She's gained 20 pounds which is great cuz she was under weight.
Because there is a nurse on duty, I feel grateful that if she gets sick, they will catch it. If she was left in home she wouldn't seek help.
As absolutely horrible as it was, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did what was in her best interest!
Hope this helps!
God bless!!
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If this woman has a UTI she will become septic and die. Get her to an emergency room. Make sure a culture is done to determine what antibiotic should be used. Also, make sure she is catherized to get all the urine. Hopefully they will keep her long enough for rehab. While in rehab have her evaluated for LTC if an AL is not affordable.
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Oh, Gosh. This is so rough. My mother also deluded herself that a man in her senior apartment was stalking her. She called the police too when she imagined her had broken into her apartment and stolen her wallet. UTI’s can make the symptoms of Alzheimer’s/dementia SO much worse. My mother became incoherent with one, was 911-Ed and from there was evaluated and it was determined she could no longer live alone. The hospital social worker helped me find a skilled nursing facility for her. She was also mobile and healthy for a woman in her early 90’s. The facility accepted her with no issues.
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Sounds like your friends mom has at the very least Mild cognitive impairment (MCI).
Perhaps she can speak to her mother physician.
As far as my limited experience goes, she doesn't need an actual diagnosis to place mom in assisted living. Mom just has to be willing to go!
Power of attorney is essential!
Seems like mom is difficult, however, if she's willing to assign your friend as POA, your friend can then sign paperwork etc...
She obviously needs to be in a different living situation.
As was posted previously, she should contact the local council for aging services.
There is help available for her!
And just as a FYI, urinary tract infections left untreated can be fatal! Sounds extreme, but true!
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Teresa914 Mar 2020
One of her sisters is POA.
Here is a link that includes contact numbers. Call the Area Agency on Aging and ask them for an assessment.

Years ago, maybe close to 10, my aunt made accusations of this sort. At 93 she is still living at home and those type behaviors have long passed. Your friend might speak to the management and explain that her mom is mental. They probably already assume this but it might help in keeping her in her home.
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