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My boyfriend's father has dementia and has put himself into a serious amount of debt. He is in stage 3 of his Alzheimer and does not need supervision at all times. Currently, my boyfriend's father can not remember anything short term, he is not allowed to drive (and struggling with this..very angry) he is unable to prepare food or make healthy choices. He is very lethargic and is becoming very depressed. My boyfriend is 25 and is living pay check to pay check and now is in charge of supporting his 87 year old father. We do not have the money to pay for a caregiver and I am wondering what free services exist to lower income families who are not eligible for medicaid/medicare. We work 8-5 everyday and are not home to take him out or to care for him throughout the day. We are looking for a service to pick him up in the morning when we leave for work and then help him with daily routines, socializing and possibility developing new hobbies. This is all so new to me and I need help. My boyfriend is in denial that his father has dementia and is not willing to hear any of it or talk about it. I am desperate. Thank you.

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We called the VA office yesterday and they have mailed us forms to apply for a pension. Hopefully Morris is eligible.
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chloe I'm sending good thoughts your way. you need to detach from this whole situation--just call your local DHS and report a vulnerable adult not getting good food, etc, and let THEM take over. there's tons of help available but ONLY if you allow the DHS to take over. they will definitely move this elderly man to a facility, it is too much for him to be cared for at home by any one person. DHS will also put a lien on his home to pay for it which is as it should be.
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The biggest roadblock here is your BF's refusal to accept help, his denial that Dad needs help. The other problem is that if Dad goes into a Nursing Home, Medicaid will put a lien on the house. Essentially, you are on the outside, you are not a blood relative and your input is not wanted at this point.
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chloeb08, no your boyfriend does not have to quit his job. His father can pay for his own care using that investment and by selling his own home.... after that money is almost used up, then Medicaid kicks in.

We here cannot stress any further that your boyfriend should remain employed.... his father could live 10 more years with dementia.... I don't think your boyfriend wants to be out of work that long. And with dementia, the disease doesn't get better, it doesn't stay the same, it only gets worse. Eventually his father will need 24 hour around the clock care.
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Alz.org
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Contact the Alzheimers Organization. I believe there is a link on top
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Yeah unfortunately my boyfriend would have to quit his job to take care of his father because he can't afford to pay for someone else to take care of him. He would not quit his job for an inheritance because there is nothing to inherit. His father is in SERIOUS negatives in every account he has ever been involved with. :( So moving forward, I left a voicemail with the aging agency in los angeles and am now going to look for transportation services etc...

Do Alzhiemer meetings exist?
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Call you local Area Agency on Aging to explore what services are available. Paying for caregiving is not your boyfriend's obligation. Medicare is an entitlement for those over 65 who have worked and contributed to that system. If he worked, he's eligible.

The house is an exempt asset. If he goes into Medicaid funded care, a line will be placed on it.

Do not under any circumstances quit your job to care for him in hopes of an inheritance. Many, many sad stories here about that path.
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Is this in home evaluation free?
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He has an investment of some sort that has not reached full potential yet. He also is not currently collecting money from said investment and hasn't since March of last year. Unfortunately, I do not know every detail of this investment because I don't want to overstep boundaries... But what my understanding is, he does not qualify for funding because of this investment and the fact that he is a home owner and still has lots of assets. Things are in the beginning stage, as he was diagnosed two months ago. The ball is finally starting to roll in terms of actions... so I'm just trying to understand this all and find every resource i probably can.
Thank you for your help!! :)
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Why would this man not be eligible for Medicare/Medicaid? If he was a veteran there are services and funds available through www.va.org. His doctor can order an in home evaluation and services started for whatever he qualifies for. Check meals on wheels and your local senior services groups for other options.

There's help available. It may involve lots of paperwork and searching but worth the effort. Good luck!
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