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I have 8 hour shifts w/caregivers for my Mom. Mom naps a lot. My Mom has Alzheimer's (approaching middle stage). Memory issues affect her ability to prepare food. When I can't care for her (I'm the daughter), we have an agency provide caregivers in 8 hour shifts, 11am-7pm to cover meal issues. The rest of the time Mom does a few household tasks and naps a lot. Sometimes she wants help w/chores, sometimes not. She does need some help. But in an 8 hour shift, 7 days a week there is only so much cleaning a person can do. When she's awake they are active with her (we have watchful neighbors). My Mom also gets upset if they disturb her by doing things while she's asleep. I drop in unannounced a lot to check on her. We have 2-3 regular caregivers. I have found all at one time or another asleep in the same room as my Mom, while she napped. She generally sleeps soundly. Sometimes she talks about them sleeping and it bothers her. My gut reaction is anger, but I've slept while Mom napped. Should I be upset? Should I talk to them? Talk to the agency? I like the agency and caregivers. We have had consistency, no theft, no abuse, active participation to keep my Mom active. Confused, frustrated, and maybe a bit guilty. Please give me some guidance

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If these caregivers bother your mother while she sleeps by doing chores, and your mother naps A LOT just how much reading and/or watching TV can these people do WITHOUT falling asleep? I know the boredom alone would kill me if I couldn't actively be doing something while someone sleeps.... A LOT. So within these parameters, I'd say that if they can wake when mom wakes and make sure mom isn't wandering the neighborhood while they snooze, then you're ok.
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I'm coming up with more questions than answers:

What qualifies as disturbing her? Moving around the house? Doing the dishes? Sitting in the other room, watching TV? Turning pages of a magazine while sitting there? I'm not being facetious .. some people are disturbed if the air moves.

Does she (or you) want them in the room with her, while she's napping? Is she at risk of falling if she attempts to get out of bed? Do the caregivers have regular chores, or does she want to supervise everything they're doing (ie: never leave her sight). Are they responsible for more than helping her make meals, such as incontinence care, physical, occupational, and speech therapy? How long is their lunch break? Do they consider the nap their 'break?'

You say there've been no problems, but are there trust issues? Concerns that if they're not right beside her, they'll be doing something unacceptable? The fact that you show up unannounced suggests to me that you HOPE to catch them doing something.

My initial reaction was, "oh, for pity's sake, it's an 8-hour shift .. they can't stay awake that long?" But boring is boring, to be honest. Are they sitting there reading and dozing off, or laid out on a cot, with the covers over their heads? As an employee (contracted through an agency or otherwise), I'd hope that you'd talk to me, first, and ask what's going on. Maybe mom told them it was okay, because she didn't want to be confrontive, and is hoping you'll help work it out.

In the end, if it turns out that it's an untenable situation, be prepared to lose your workers to maintain your standards .. don't let them control your mom's world, except as you and she wants the help.

I'm not trying to provide answers, here, as I don't feel like I've got a good picture. I'm just trying to prod, a bit, to see what the root issue really is.
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Would you be less offended if you came in and they were doing a hobby, as in, crocheting or needlework... either way they are doing this on their time there and at your expense.... it is impossible to stay moving 8 hours straight unless you work at McD's..... I don't sleep on my job, but when there is a lull late in the evening I do crochet...but I would hope you would speak with me first as opposed to going to my bosses....

What would bother me would be you 'dropping in', that would imply to me that after a sufficient amount of time you still didn't trust me...you also say you are very pleased with the caregivers and the agency.... if it really bothers you that much, speak to the caregiver.....do you let them know either by word or action that you are not ok with them napping? We are not mind readers and none of us will ever be able to fully reach families expectations.....because just as you are feeling taken advantage of... we, as paid caregivers, can tell you lots of stories about being taken advantage of.....
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Hold the phone here!!!!!!!

I am a home healthcare nurse who works for an agency and I would never...NEVER... sleep while my patient is sleeping. The only time a caregiver should be allowed to sleep is on a nightshift and that's only if it's a 'resting' nightshift. Yes, I have had very boring jobs where my patient sleeps a lot, I do a lot of hospice where my patient isn't even conscious. I get very sleepy and drowsy but I bring a book with me and tough it out.

Of course there is only so much these caregivers can do before they run out of things to do but they are being paid to be there, to watch over your mom, and they should NOT be sleeping. It's just not professional.
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When my parents first moved in, mom was in rehab and dad with ALZ was in need of a companion. I hired a guy from an agency, he took dad to visit mom, for walks, etc. When mom came home, she noticed he was on the computer alot, and napping, while Dad watched TV or slept. Caregiver quit shortly thereafter (as we didn't need him for as many hours.) Our new caregiver reads with Mom when dad sleeps, or bakes alot. She would love to do more, but Mom likes to feel needed. I guess I really didn't mind the guy napping/on computer as I knew he did alot for dad... but the new gal is always looking for something to do, just Mom won't let her. So I see both sides of this.. As long as you know your Mom is being safely taken care of, that is the main thing. To me the caregiver is kinda part of the family now! That is just how I look at it. I am so glad to have her!
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I can also see both sides of the issue. Some people nap heavily, while I'm the kind of person who awakens at the slightest noise or movement. I'd be worried about a caregiver who couldn't wake up the moment that mom started to wake up or tried to get up. But I can also understand how hard it would be to just sit there hour after hour and day after day. I love to read, but I have been known to fall asleep while reading or doing crosswords or even watching TV.

So I think you have to look at the results. If your mom seems to be well cared for and if the caregivers don't continue to sleep while she's up and awake or around, then I think it's OK. Not ideal, but acceptable. If there are other things they could be doing and they're not doing, then ask them to do them. And like Eyerishlass says, talk to them individually before going to their management.
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I fall asleep sitting up at the dining table, waiting for my mother to finish her supper. On the other hand, I don't clock off after eight hours.

I can see both sides, too: I agree, technically it is unprofessional; I also agree, humanly it's incredibly difficult to stay awake when there is nothing, but nothing, to keep you awake. You could ask the agency if it has a policy on naps, in a general sort of way, mentioning no names? - but really what matters is whether or not they're looking after your mother effectively. Speak to the individuals, by all means, if they're the sort who won't get instantly defensive.

My MIL once went ballistic when she found her mother's nurse fast asleep on a cot in the middle of a shift - but in that case the nurse wasn't even in the same room as her mother, she was dead to the world (hadn't heard MIL come in, for a start), and MIL's mother did need full nursing care. For once I didn't actually think MIL was overreacting (though I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall).
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I care for my own Mother, and I NEVER sleep until I hear her start snoring, around midnight. If somethings going to happen, it would happen while you are sleeping. It's a hard part of the job, but it is the job.IMHO
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I sense that there is no trust issue with the caregiver, the only concern you have is the caregiver napping during her shift. You have to know if she remain asleep when your mom wakes up, if that is the case, you have to talk to her. You can't risk thae fact that your mom may wander around while the caregiver continues to sleep. As a piece of advice, there are caregivers specifically trained to handle specific conditions, so if your mom have Alzheimer's disease, choose a caregiver that has training in the management of the disease
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I really appreciate your question.
Being a care-giver is a big responsibility.
these caregiver are trained to do a great job.
they are only human just like you.and so what if they nap .
They are following your mom's schedule not yours.
caregiver have kids and families and for them to do such a caring empathetic is a godly thing,
bless all caregive,PSW, RN'S and RNA"s.
like you said no theft,abuse but on safety, and keeping ur mom active well fed and taking her mind of depressing things,
I hope this reply answers your question.

sharon
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In an ideal world caregivers will never nap on the job, But most caregivers do not live in an ideal world. The pay is so low they often have more than one job plus a family to care for. I would expect them to remain in the same room as their patient if they are napping and by napping I mean in an easy chair where they are ready to spring into action. Other quiet activities are perfectly acceptable especially during an overnight shift either in the patients room or in an adjoining room. Everishlass you are to be commended for your devotion to your patients. Have you really never ever fallen asleep. I once saw another nurse fall asleep standing up. She was on call at night having already worked a day shift. I will confess to falling asleep especially as a supervisor when I would be summoned by phone. I do not advocate a caregiver pulling out a cot and blankets that is definitely not acceptable
Boni I am sure you are not comfortable going to sleep before your mother but even so something could happen during the night when you were asleep
Behaving responsibly is the key here and making it clear to your caregivers on day one what your expectations are. People die next to their spouses at night all the time. My insurance agent did just that. His wife woke up and realized he was not snoring and he was very dead
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Although it may not be professional for them to nap on the job, it wouldn't bother me as long as they were awake when they needed to be. It also wouldn't bother me if she read, watched TV, or got on her own computer as long as she was doing the job she was hired for. Now if her work was not getting done it would be something else entirely. If the caregiver was dependable and did her job, it would be all I would worry about.
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while working in long term care I have once or twice found myself falling asleep while a client slept. Both times we on overnights and it was embarrassing to me! I know how hard it is to stay awake, but you must take things to do while client is resting if you have already taken care of other chores. I was paid to make sure my client was safe and secure...can't do that if you are sleeping.
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as long as other assigned tasks are done...and they wake when mom wakes...and THEY SHOW UP means alot...let it go :)
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When I looked into this type of care for my Mom, it was very expensive. If I read your post correctly they work during daytime hours. They are being paid and should be awake. There are other issues, such as a fire, so caregivers should be alert during their shift. Personal activities like reading or needlework would be acceptable. ~jan
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As a former home nurse, I slept, but I had the 7pm - 7 am shift. I did not sleep very well and was always semi-asleep. Don't be so hard on the help unless the agency rules state they absolutely cannot sleep. My patient died within an hour of me leaving my shift and no matter what, your mother has a terminal illness.
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I may be in a unique position to have a different perspective on this question. Even with my own disability, I was the 24/7 caretaker for my mom with drug-induced dementia. That was until my sister obtained conservatorship and forced a paid caregiver into our situation. She worked 8-6 M-F & 9-5 on Sa, because I was supposedly incapable of care taking, yet I was responsible for all the other hours, including all day sunday by myself. Hmmm. This without consultation or conversation, only by assumption.

Our "helper" was a very nice lady, competent, working toward her LVN, and we liked her. But my mom was having none of someone else doing her personal care. So, our lady accompanied us yes two doctors appointments, did a little light housekeeping, making mom's bed, grocery shopping, other errands and watching mom on the few occasions that I needed to nap during the day because my mom was a sundowner.

What EVER did i do before she came (I mention, sarcastically)?? Well, I already had things set up. A ROOM MONITOR for one thing. My mom rested a lot and I didn't want her disturbed. Ultimately it was left up to me to handle my moms schedule. I believe my sister felt that the helper was supervising me, but the helper believed that I was supervising her and she considers me her "boss". We laughed about my sister's disconnect, behind her back of course.

Because I am the kind of person who tends to get involved with other people, I knew our helper's life situation. Her husband had recently passed away unexpectedly, daughter and schizophrenic spouse with two children living with her, 1 unemployed son she was helping out. She was tired, yet studying to better herself. AND I consider paid caregiving generally a thankless job, overworked and underpaid.

She helped us for nearly two years until my mom passed away. We had a reclining chair in the living room. And a couple of nice Afghans. I told her to rest whenever she wanted as long as my mother with cared for. Sometimes she and I chatted because neither was tired. Sometimes I would work on my computer well she studied or rested. Sometimes we would both rest. It was just a matter of who kept the monitor receiver. One search of us had it at all times when my mom was resting. One peep out of my mom and one of us was on alert.

The operative part of the caretaking, IMO, is "care". I was in a more obvious position to watch whether or not someone else worked. I never, EVER, begrudged her the ability to rest. In fact, I ENCOURAGED it. I believe it made her happier and more capable of taking care of my mom.
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I feel I must comment on this because I own a Home Care Agency. Sleeping on the job is NOT tolerated (unless its an over-night live-in situation). But as has been said, these caregivers are wonderful people, they usually have one or two other jobs, and they have a family to take care of. If they fall asleep while your Mom sleeps, its certainly understandable. Let your caregiver know that you don't want her sleeping on the job. Ask her to bring a book, or some other quiet activity, and have plenty of coffee ready. If she keeps falling asleep, call the agency, they can assign her to another case which has less down-time. Your surprise visits are fine. Only you know its a surprise visit, you have every right to stop by and check up on your Mom any time you want to. Its not the caregiver you are checking up on, its your mom, right :-)
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What Mark and his wife Lynn are offering is fine for them and fine for you if you can afford double what it cost for a private person. But, IMO, if you have found a good caregiver or helper who enjoys your elder, and more importantly the elder enjoyed them, you can't just call up the agency and get a replacement. All the talk about not professional notwithstanding, if the required work is done and the elder is completely supervised, napping or resting is the least of your worries. This is assuming the person is honest and caring and that we're not talking about a deep sleep, like sawing logs. Certainly they need to do their regular "8-hours" off the job. But, for private help, a good one is a gem, and you need to be careful nitpicking a little rest. As previously stated, get a room monitor. They work great and don't leave the elder feeling as if their room is invaded. If the Elder is less aware, a reclining chair by their bed could certainly be in order.
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If these caregivers are in the same room as the a client sleeping I find little annoyance with that. However, if they are deep sleeping and snoring it might be another issue. I've had private duty assignments where I slept when the client slept. Being easily awakened whenever needed is important.
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I am sure that you might be concerned but as any parent can tell you - a nap while the child is napping is good for you. I think the same applies here. If you feel like it is happening while your loved one is awake - then I would be very concerned.
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As with any other job, napping is not an option.
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I am guessing Mr Rochester has never done an overnight as a caregiver. There is moderation in all things Sir
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Omg I also don't sleep until I hear my Mom snore. I had an agency woman who fell asleep here 2x and I called the agency and out she went. I hire privately now and in no way would I let them sleep. There is plenty to do, laundry, folding, sweeping, sterilizing the bed, wheelchair, dishes, preparing foods for the evening and nighttime. And, how does your Mom sleep at night? I would be upset letting her sleep so much. Their job (in my home) is to keep Mom happy, safe, comfortable, well hydrated , well fed and good and tired when I get home. Cant they play cards, sing to music, do household chores? Regardless, I wouldnt allow sleeping on my clock here. I want 110% attention to my Mom at all times. Dont feel guilty, your "gut instinct" is telling you what to do, trust it.
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CFG, ever think about cameras, fake or real? I have both, I trust no one and have found out things you wouldnt believe, people are fake, its hard to find great caregivers but they are out there. Best of luck.
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When I was paid caregiver, it would have driven me to distraction to not be able to work during my shift. I mean if the client was napping and demanded absolute silence, it would be difficult to imagine what I could be doing to help?
In my line, my longest shift was three hours. Sometimes when my work was finished I would just sit and talk or ask if there were any extra things they needed doing?
After a couple of weeks some of these folks houses were so spic and span after three hours of ME a day, it was hard to find anything baring putting a new roof on the place, lol.

One hoarder I worked for let me clean her house out over a period of months... something she would never let the family do. Each item had to be gone over with absolute approval from her.

ME: I could get you all the empty milk jugs you need from a recycle center. If we toss these now, I promise I will bring you brand new ones, if you need them.

I eventually made her little trailer from complete disaster into a lovely place. The family was impressed to say the least!

That is when she asked me to make decorations for her great grandaughters wedding. And I did it. She had hoarded thousands of plastic flowers, ribbon, you name it. She was SO proud, pointing out to the family that they had wanted to throw all these lovely things away. True, however it required lots of ammonia and soap and an artists touch to make these things valuable again.

I would have probably been fired for doing this mind you. Although my company didn't mind if you sat and went through old photo albums with them for hours.

If you trust this caregiver, and she is the sort that CAN cat nap and wake up more effective than someone who is expected to prop her eyes open with toothpicks because she is not allowed to move or make a sound, then I don't see the problem?

I am not sure what you expect this caregiver to do if she is needs to be in the presence of your mum, and also not make a sound?

This site makes a huge difference. Well, to my life anyway.
I am starting to wonder how much memory we lose from simply going quiet.

I am remembering things here, that I thought were forgotten.

:Too Long Didn't Read... "your mum has someone to nap with, all watched over."
I think it is lovely.
I wish some of us could trade off... like we did when we had toddlers.
Our elders would have company and we would get a break.
A play date we call it whith children.
Our parents could get together and complain about how much we suck.

"Ohhhh, you think YOUR daughter is awful, wait till you hear what mine did the other day" lol.
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Not one time has the 'asker' of this question come back and replied... but it has been a great conversation... as a paid caregiver, it is insightful to read how you all feel... I do not sleep on my job, but can understand if someone needed a 'power nap'..
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right again ladeeM!
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reverse roles. i agree about the cameras. they are useful in so many ways. i never wanted our PT to feel like she was being spied on. but just as you would do with a babysitter, a camera is logical to have.
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If the caregivers are accomplishing their major duties toward your mother, and you must know what they are, it is only natural to be weary and sleepy around someone who sleeps a lot and there is no pressing duties left to full fill in that shift. I have some in home care givers whose agency does not expect the caregiver to be awake at every moment. However they are expected to be in the same room, or within close hearing distance in case they are needed. Most women who are caregivers have a good ear to wake quickly if needed. Especially those who have had children of their own. You sorta sleep with one ear open.
Circumstances are always to be considered. If for some reason one would have an individual to care for that would "quietly" get up and be hard to hear them arise from their bed, then slip away from caregiver and become lost in the community, or get into something dangerous in the house and hurt themselves, that might be another matter. ( you may consider putting an alarm on the bed that goes off if mother leaves the bed. She might have to be conditioned to accept it for her own good. ) They use those in hospitals and other places that are concerned for the well being of a roaming individual or one who has special needs . One has to be balanced and reasonable. Right? My particular case is a bed fast husband who does not move much in the bed anymore. Much less get out of it. He sleeps lots, and watches some TV when awake, which I leave on for his spurts of wakefulness. He is fed, washed, and cared for like a disabled child. So when his needs are finished each time slot, there would be no concern if the caregiver slept, if the major chores or duties had been cared for.
Circumstances and reasonableness enter in. Here is a hug for your sincere concern.
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