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I just lost my mother at the end of October after 7 and half years of being her live in caretaker. The first few years was easy she was still mobile.

There is hope and life after caregiving and I am living proof. I cared for my late husband for 24 1/2 years of our 26 year marriage after he had a massive stroke, then gran mal seizures, several different surgeries, vascular dementia, aspiration pneumonia and then sepsis and septic shock. He has been gone 5 years this past Sept.
When he first died I found myself wandering around my house wondering what it was I was now supposed to be doing, as I was lost and exhausted.
So I opted to just start taking better care of myself by resting, getting back in church, doing more things with my friends, and slowly but surely my new life started to take shape.
It has transformed several times over the last 5 years as I am still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up and I am 66. But I am happy and I choose to fill my life with things that give me joy as I don't have time for anything else.
So take things slow and just start doing things that bring you joy and in time your life and hope will return. And rest....as in lots of rest. You've earned it.
God bless you for taking such good care of your mother. She would now want you taking good care of yourself.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Start with getting rest. Sleep, including naps if they help. Sit outside in the sunshine -- even if just a few minutes if it's cold where you are.

If your house is messy, get some help to freshen it. If it needs organizing, hire a professional organizer for a session or two. She may get the job done, or she may just help you to see your way clear to getting to where it needs to be. Then hire a cleaner for a one-time, all-over session. Having your home environment looking and feeling nice will boost your spirits every morning when you wake up and every time you come home after being out.

Then just slowly start making that bucket list, and go for it. Catching up with old friends who you haven't had much time for probably should be near the top.

You've been very generous with your time and I hope you will be generous to yourself. Let us know how it all goes.
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Reply to MG8522
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I recommend a wonderful book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, by David Kessler.

In this groundbreaking and “poignant” (Los Angeles Times) book, David Kessler—praised for his work by Maria Shriver, Marianne Williamson, and Mother Teresa—journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning.

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom gained through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage: meaning.

Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth stage of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss.

“Beautiful, tender, and wise” (Katy Butler, author of The Art of Dying Well), Finding Meaning is “an excellent addition to grief literature that helps pave the way for steps toward healing” (School Library Journal).

https://a.co/d/5SPKtsR

My condolences on the loss of your dear mom. Best of luck learning how to move forward with meaning, and live life again.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Have you even caught up on your sleep yet?
You've got 8 years of stress to purge.
Get caught up on medical checkups and eye exams.
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Reply to jwellsy
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I would think it will be quite an adjustment. 7-1/2 yrs would be overwhelming to me.

Think about what you wished for during those hard years...a new job? A nice guy? Travel and connecting with friends? Taking classes, enjoying a hobby?

Seek and you will find. Make a Bucket List. Best of luck to you!
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Reply to Dawn88
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Bless you for taking care of your mother.. You should be proud of that. I think things might come back slowly without any specific path.. No need to rush it get immediate solutions. Just living day by day you'll begin to be more attracted to doing things for yourself again.. You can start maybe by helping others on the forum, tell people what worked for you. Gradually you your old interests will return or maybe you'll have new ones.. wishing you the best..
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Reply to oldageisnotfun2
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