Follow
Share

My dad has diabetes, a spending habit, and keeps telling me he doesn't want to live anymore. He's young, 64 and has potentially lots of life left. His whole life his mother brow beat/belittled him about his size (extremely tall and round) about how he didn't measure up to his little brother's successful achievements, how his hands shook uncontrollably (they'd shake more when she would comment he was going to make a mess), etc. He's always been an 'Eeyore' possibly always needing therapy. Now his momma is gone. He hasn't grieved for her loss (it'll be a year this late summer). He blames his diabetes on his size wearing it like a curse. He doesn't take his insulin OR eat right (eating at fast food places via driveup and throwing/leaving trash in backseat till seats are covered). He's always had a spending problem and now it's WAY out of hand. UPS, USPS, & FedEx come everyday with 2-3 packages. His tiny apartment is stacked with boxes and trash. Many of the packages he never opens, like there mere presence keeps him company. You can NOT walk freely through his place. You must shimmy sideways into the doorway and crabwalk down 1 6-8" pathway he's managed to keep clear.
He claims there's no money for therapy, on the heels of the UPS driver delivering another package. This after he made an apointment, filled out paperwork, then canceled last minute. His brother oversees their mother's trust for the both of them giving dad an allowance of $1200/month (NOT including dad's SS income of $1300/month). The money's are kept in separate accounts. So, my uncle only sees the 1200 disappear every month and dad crying he needs more to pay bills. Adding up the 'must haves', rent, insurance, medications, food, cable/internet he's right at 1200. When asking him where is the other 1300 going, he flatly said I don't know I'll need to sit down and write it out. Cue the USPS dropping off another package.
So, he needs help with his addiction of spending, depression, understanding his diabetes isn't a curse after all, losing his mom, being alone (my mother left him over 20 years ago due to his depression & not seeking help), thinking he's a failure, and on and on. I don't know how to make him seek counseling. I am concerned about his well being how he's given up (including personal hygiene). I don't want to be yet another in a line of females who have forced him to do something.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If he goes to the doc for diabetes, may the doc (if alerted ahead of time) could give him a med to work on the shopping obsession. Is he up to hoarding status yet? If so, take pictures and show the doctor.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I agree with Eyerishlass, there is no forcing him. Moods swing as sugar level boomerangs. If you can get the sugar evened out there will be some improvement. Good Luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You can't force your dad into therapy. It's physically impossible. You can't throw him over your shoulder, stuff him into the car, drive him to the appointment and sit handcuffed to him while he has a therapy session. There is no forcing him.

Twenty years ago your mom left him because he refused therapy? So he's been approached in the past before about getting help and he hasn't done it. It's a shame as therapy could potentially help him manage his life a little better but he obviously doesn't want to go. I'm afraid that the more you push the more he'll resist.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.