My mother shows signs of dementia but hasn't been to a doctor in over 20 years and I was just wondering then that I have power of attorney over her can I force her to go see a doctor?
I can tell you now that you should drag her kicking and screaming to a dr. The reason I say this is that it took my grandmother falling and breaking her hip for me to do that. Then the doctors and nurses all acted like I had neglected her because she hadn't been to a dr since 1953. Nobody had POA at that time so the whole thing was a difficult mess.
Jerseysfinest, often something needs to happen to get elders to their doctor. They, like many of us, feel just fine and do not want or feel it is necessary to go. A POA could be valid immediately or may take effect when she is unable to make her own decisions. Though, regardless when your POA takes effect, I suggest you do not "force" your mother to the doctor. Perhaps encourage, motivate, compromise, or urge her to go to the doctor. She is, in the end, a grown woman and as long as she is alert, oriented, and able to make her needs known, she has the right to not go to the doctor.
I guess I made the assumption that she is in actual need of medical care, not just refusing annual check ups. However, annual check ups in the elderly can identify problems before they become serious. If you are responsible for caring for someone who cannot care for themselves, is it right to allow them to refuse medical care? If your loved one has an illness, and you are the caretaker, it is your moral responsibility to get them medical care, is it not? How are you going to feel if she becomes seriously ill and you find out that a check up could have prevented it? When my grandmother broke her hip she adamantly refused to willingly go to the ER. I could see that her leg was at a totally wrong angle so I knew it was broken. She literally went to the ER flailing and yelling in protest. Should I have let her stay home in pain until she decided she wanted to go?
Though I believe strongly that a 95+ person with mild to moderate dementia, should be able to choose things in their remaining years, I also know that if there is a definite concern for their safety and comfort due to an issue that could be resolved by a doctor's advice, medication, etc., then the caregiver should take the initiative to get them that care. I am a CNA who works in home for the elderly. I believe to keep a mildly to moderate dementia suffer calm, peaceful, and happy, you need to do what they want (unless it will harm them in some way). I have had great success with my clients maintaining this attitude.
Do not tell her you are taking her to the doctor. Come up with something else that will get her out. But, also plan something enjoyable that day, mani, pedi? Hair done? Coffee and lunch? Do not threaten or scream and yell. Yes, it is important but eliminate the conflict over arranging it.
You do not have POA "over" your mother -- you have it for her. It authorizes you to handle her finances and similar matters. It does not give you authority over her person. You cannot insist that she go anywhere she doesn't want to go.
Do you have healthcare POA/medical proxy for your mother? That confers authority to make medical decisions on her behalf if she can no longer do so. But proving that she can no longer do so may be difficult.
You certainly want the best for her, and I agree that seeing a doctor would fall into that category! Your motives are noble. Your authority is weak. Rely on persuasion, cajoling, trickery. As her daughter, get her there any way you can. But having the POA doesn't give you special "power" to do so.
I'd try your hardest to get her to the doctor. Doctor visits are so important if she's showing signs of dementia then it's so important for early treatment. It can prevent the long term effects from coming on so quickly. While you can't exactly say you have power over her but you can bring her to the doctor by convincing her or tricking her in some way. Perhaps telling her it's for you and you need her help or that the doctor asked after her and really wants to see her or some other way to convince her.
Jersey'sfinest, what signs/symptoms of dementia is your mother exhibiting? Are the other physical/medical concerns?
I can only speak for myself, but my mother is 94 and showing some signs of entering the advanced stage of Alzheimer's, and possibly vascular dementia. I have power of attorney for finances and personal care. She has had a few medical issues, the most recent being a persistent eye infection. She also suffers tremendously with severe carpal tunnel syndrome. However, when I have taken her to doctors/urgent care centre she became so irate, belligerent and resistant that at times, we ended up leaving or not keeping the appointment. That, in itself, creates some degree of resentment on the part of the medical staff, so that when the time comes when she really needs treatment, it is going to cause interpersonal discomfort due to her history. For example, running out of thyroid medication and having to call the same doctor to for an appointment for a prescription. The stress on staff, caregiver, the person with dementia and the other patients in the waiting area makes for a very draining and upsetting day. It all comes back to client self determination and the right to refuse treatment.
I know its hard when you have a very stubborn parent. But at the same time you want them to have the proper medical attention. I don't know if you can find a doctor that will make a house visit. It is important to persuade them to see the doctor.
And sometimes you are right, you have to take control and be in charge even if they are against it. Its a difficult balance trying to respect your parent's wishes but also knowing they need medical attention. Try to do what you think is best because you don't want to have any regrets about getting them the proper care.
Do you have healthcare POA/medical proxy for your mother? That confers authority to make medical decisions on her behalf if she can no longer do so. But proving that she can no longer do so may be difficult.
You certainly want the best for her, and I agree that seeing a doctor would fall into that category! Your motives are noble. Your authority is weak. Rely on persuasion, cajoling, trickery. As her daughter, get her there any way you can. But having the POA doesn't give you special "power" to do so.
I can only speak for myself, but my mother is 94 and showing some signs of entering the advanced stage of Alzheimer's, and possibly vascular dementia. I have power of attorney for finances and personal care. She has had a few medical issues, the most recent being a persistent eye infection. She also suffers tremendously with severe carpal tunnel syndrome. However, when I have taken her to doctors/urgent care centre she became so irate, belligerent and resistant that at times, we ended up leaving or not keeping the appointment. That, in itself, creates some degree of resentment on the part of the medical staff, so that when the time comes when she really needs treatment, it is going to cause interpersonal discomfort due to her history. For example, running out of thyroid medication and having to call the same doctor to for an appointment for a prescription. The stress on staff, caregiver, the person with dementia and the other patients in the waiting area makes for a very draining and upsetting day. It all comes back to client self determination and the right to refuse treatment.
And sometimes you are right, you have to take control and be in charge even if they are against it. Its a difficult balance trying to respect your parent's wishes but also knowing they need medical attention. Try to do what you think is best because you don't want to have any regrets about getting them the proper care.