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I'm new to this. I have been listening to my brothers for year. One is clearly "in charge" of dispensive information that the parents want known, he will be Executor, etc... It is clear to me now that they have no desire to rock dad's boat on anything. And dad's behavior is becoming detrimental to our mother.

Our mother is completely physically disabled, but of fairly sound mind. At least as sound as our dad. Our father drags her up to a summer home each year where she has no one to socialize with and no physical therapy for 3-6 months. He works on his projects and she has no outlets while there. It is also a long 2,800 mile drive, round trip. And if there is a health issue for either of them, facilities are limited. God forbid something happen to him because she can barely operate a phone now. I point out these issues and he brushes them off...

My older brothers keep saying that dad is an adult & can do what he wants. But it is clear our mother wants to stop this travel and he is ignoring her wishes and her physical needs. He also refuses anything but free help from local relatives for her in their winter location, even though all his kids have told him not to worry about spending any inheritance. None of us kids live in their part of the country to help. And he has already burned several bridges with our aunts and uncles over his expectations and treatment of them. He also has refused to move near any of his children after years of all us asking.

He has money he can spend, but he seems more concerned with keeping it to influence others through an inheritance...What he wants and his ego seems to be the only thing that matters right now. My brothers keep patting him on the back for being soooo devoted to our mother. But I see a very different picture.

Is there a legal or social way to make him take her opinion into account, stop the traveling and hire help? I doubt I can get information from her doctors. But I'd be interested in what they think of her traveling. Can adult protective services help in this? He is literally acting like she has no right and her opinion no longer matters, even though she seems to have more clear reasoning in this matter than him.

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I dunno. I would not say "never" intervene with a married couple, but it has to cross a certain line into real abuse. This situation strikes me as a particularly tough call. Can any of the children arrange to visit with mom in the summer home while she is there, both to check on her and give her some outlets and social contact, if she is not able to convince Dad not to "drag" her along if she does not want to go? I think Dad will have a terrible time giving up this annual trek because he probably enjoys it very much adn it would signal such a loss in his life. It might be hard for him to imagine doing it or to enjoy doing it if he leaves Mom behind too.
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your mom married a domineering control freak because it suited her . she probably never could sway him much so the best she can do is grumble at his antics -- dont mean she isnt content .
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your mother hanging onto dads wild ride is probably still many times more stimulating than life in a NH for her . people in NH sit in wheelchairs at the main entry doors most of the day -- not necessarily waiting on or wishing for a visitor , but just for the visual stimulation of observing passers by . in my aunts words , " this aint no life a'tall " ..
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If mom is clear about her wishes and dad is forcing her that ain't right. Ideally you and your brothers need to present a united front and intervene on moms behalf. People are saying she should stand up for herself and you've indicating that she is, but nothing is changing. She needs her children's support to get dad with the program.
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As hard as it is for you, this is a long-standing relationship between your parents. I had this with mine as well and after trying to get them to change, I finally realized they had been living this "script" for 60 years and I wasn't going to change it. I think you have to let your parents work it out themselves. Speak up if asked, but let your mom stand up for herself. It's hard, I know!! But until Dad asks for help and will listen, you're beating your head against a brick wall.

Only other option I can think of, is could mom come stay with you while dad goes to his other place?
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The other issue is him hiring help. My brother told me for several years that dad was looking ibto hiring help because is is exhausted. Then it seems he ropes in a relative for awhile. Then he starrs bad mouthing that relative. Which I've learned usually means that he has burned out that relative or that relative told him something he didn't want to hear. But he never hires anyone. I think he doesn't want an outsider having eyes on the situation.
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Does your mom not want to go? Then she needs to tell him that. If she's telling you but not him, you're being manipulated.
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My parents are pushing 80. Dad still drives well. But he gets confused and is very impatient. Always has been inpatient.
My mom does speak up for herself to our dad and us now. He just ignores it and tells us that she is just being fussy and will calm down about it. But she persists now. She can't physically prevent him from taking her. The last time I visited them I heard him threaten her to stop causing trouble about these issues.
My brothers won't help. Long standing family dynamic. Only trouble makers cross dad. For years it seemed mom's strategy was to rope in a kid to confront dad for her. But as kids we knew this would result in her changing her tune to make dad happy and a kid look bad. So no one bit that poison apple. But now she is loud and clear to anyone who will listen. My brothers keep saying that all we can do is express our concern for her health and hope he pulls his head out of his...
At least II've seen how I DON'T want to raise my kids.
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2800 mile trip! How old are these people? Your dad sounds much like my dad. He loves my mom to death but he doesn't understand any longer what is best for her and what is not. He has mild dementia, but this may not be your dads case. Elders, men especially, don't like to give up any control, and, no offense, but your dad sounds like a selfish jerk. Is it possible to get your brothers to join your camp and diplomatically influence the situation? Others are right, this is a marital issue and woe to those who shall but in. However, I feel bad for your poor mom. Will she speak up for herself? I think your instincts are right but there is no easy solution.
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Realistically, no you can't force anyone to change his mind. It is probably even good that your father has such an outlet for his time and energy. If your mom doesn't want to go with him it is up to HER to say so. If she won't speak up, then it is a marital issue, and I would would think long and hard before stepping into the middle of that.
If she does in fact state that she doesn't want to make the trip (not just to you, but to dad and sibs) then you can perhaps all help by getting dad on board with that. You can then look at other options for her..... a respite stay at assisted living? A holiday with you? In home caregivers?
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Never get between a husband and wife. They will BOTH be angry if you do.
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