Hi, I am extremely torn right now!
Dad is 90 and has some form of dementia. Mom just passed on August 16, 2016. I have severely cerebral palsy due to at birth.
Our family doctor who is also geriatric medicine sub-specialist. Dad's doctor prescribed him getting help from Baptist Health for two months until he gets a proper care. Since September, Dad has not taken showers. We all complain about it and his room stinks, so forth.
Today, a male aide came in and checked vitals, etc. Next, he said to Dad, "I'm here to help you to take a shower." Dad was getting angry and said, "No, I don't want to take a shower!" We all kept saying that he needs to and it's so important, etc. Then, he kept saying "I am angry. I want to kill myself."
Knowingly, he does not mean it (I went the same situation with my mom prior to the nursing home). So, the aid backed out and said, "Okay, I can't force you."
As you know now, I cannot physically able to help my dad. Also, requested by my Medicaid, I get assistants every day for my own needs. My assistants are not permitted to help my dad. They are working for me only.
My dad is doing somewhat great by helping me doing the cooking frozen food, walking around with his walker, etc. except he gets confused easily, his cognition and memory are pretty bad. He's just very stubborn. He wants to die in our house instead of at the nursing home.
Now, my question is What can I do now?? Should I force him to go to the nursing home? He wants to keep his money for me. He doesn't qualify for Medicaid.
Any suggestion? I'm so frustrated!