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Christmas can be tricky and just different, to say the least, than for non-caregivers and their loved ones being cared for. My mom and I, although we have family nearby, will spend Christmas at my mom’s house, just the two of us. I’ve been cooking for days though to bring dishes to some neighbors that I know are alone (doing for others what I wished someone did for my mom before I moved here to take care of her).
I’m still cooking! Now for my mom and I :)


Wherever you are, whatever your and your loved one’s situation is, please remember that there is an special drizzle of joy in the air this time of the year, a little bit of peace that if we open our hearts to it can most definitely warm our life a little.
Find a moment to enjoy some inner peace, some calmness; and hug your loved ones very specially!!

Merry Christmas and God bless!!

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I sincerely hope all of you were able to enjoy your Christmas (or anything else you celebrate)!!

Stacy, I hope you were able to enjoy the ‘normality’ of this Christmas! I think all caregivers struggle after our life goes back to what it used to be..because I don’t think it really ever goes back to exactly what it used to be, but we have to retrain ourselves to adjust to some normality. I’m sure you missed your FIL but like you said, life is a cycle!

Rebecca, you made me so hungry!! You named two of my favorite dishes, Shepard’s Pie and Key Lime pie!! And no hope for me to find either here. I’m in Central America caring for my mom. Hope you truly enjoyed your alone time, I think that was a great self-gift!

Freqflyer, thank you for the laugh with the kitties at least not deciding they’ll retake driving and you thanking the cable tv for wonderful sport filled hours! I feel the same way. And your comment about missing your parents smiling as they opened their gifts made me remember that my dad, who was truly just a sweetheart, when I came to visit them every Christmas he would receive all my presents and make sure to wear everything I brought him before I left, and model each item proudly! just to show how much he appreciated that I always wanted to make him smile. Yes, Christmas without people we love is tough! Yet we have no choice but to keep going, right? and those wonderful memories are by large our fuel!!

Sunnygirl1, I truly hope your parents get better. It is so difficult to have one parent sick, can’t imagine two at the same time! At least you are getting to see and spend good quality time with the rest of your family. Hope you all enjoyed each other’s company which is the greatest gift!

CTTN55, it’s not easy to deal with negativity specially during the Holidays, I completely understand. Yet I hope you were able to spend some more relaxed time with your mom while taking her to mass and bringing her some food. Sometimes the only way to have a peaceful Holiday is not having everybody in the same place at the same time!

As of me, I’m a little tired after all the cooking and the delivery of the food to neighbors, but I’m very glad I did it. No one understands better than me the worry one feels when you know your parent is far away and alone. Although I always came to spend Christmas with my mom -and both of my parents before my dad passed away- so many times not necessarily at Christmas I was absolutely concerned knowing my mom was by herself, and so wished someone could keep her company and check on her. So, I was just doing for others what I wished someone did for my parents when they were alone.

My mom was with me until after midnight on Christmas Eve, we had dinner and listened to Christmas music. That is more than I could have asked for! Today she didn’t feel good, so she spent most of the day in bed resting and fighting a fever, I made tomato soup for her as she didn’t feel like eating “Christmas food” today. In our current circumstances I’m very grateful for what God allows me to enjoy with my mom.

The more I live, specially since becoming my mom’s 24/7 caregiver and having truly changed my life completely to do what I feel is what I need to do, I have realized that people are becoming more and more into their own lives, own needs, own worries. Disconnecting themselves from the lives of those surrounding them. We cannot become careless about what happens to others; if we know someone is sick, or alone, or sad, let’s remember to give a hand, an smile, a hug and some of our time too. As we get older people tend not to want to listen, even to ignore!  let’s give the gift of listening and caring! :)

God bless you all!!
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A very simple Christmas here -- just us and our two grown sons. My mother said last Christmas that she didn't want to come to my house again, because she doesn't like walking over my lawn (she also doesn't like things in my house). She also insists that all must be concluded before dark. So I've held her to that. (And I make sure we have a later dinner, to conclude when it's dark.) When the four of us brought over food for her for Thanksgiving, she was rude and hurtful to one of my sons. (And then, if that wasn't bad enough, she then sent him a letter explaining further what she'd meant; no explanation was necessary - she was very clear the first time.)

So I'm not exposing my sons to her rudeness today. Dh and I have to take her to Mass. We will bring her over a plate this evening. I'm going to suggest to my sons that they don't even need to come.
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Rosses003, you are very kind indeed to post such a nice message and to be cooking for others. I hope they appreciate and enjoy it.

I've done some cooking this year, plus most all the other stuff too, since both my parents got sick and haven't been able to do much of anything, but, cough, see the doctor and rest. Mom felt a little better to today, so we had our annual family gathering this evening with food and gift exchange. All the adult kids and spouses, grandkids, significant others, etc. (big crowd) But, it was great as usual. Tomorrow, we are having some other extended family and friends over for another meal and celebration. Then, I'm going to take my LO (cousin) who has dementia her gifts to the MC with some treats. My parents are too still too sick to go into that kind of place, so, it will just be she and I this year. I don't think she realizes it though. I'm going to try to video chat there with my parents.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, however, you spend it.
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How am I spending Christmas? This is the second Christmas in a row that Christmas is/was ho-hum. My last parent passed over a year ago, but just as I was finally getting some of my energy back, I was faced being a caregiver to two elderly cats.... that wasn't too bad but it was time consuming... at least neither of them threatened to start driving again or threaten to live on their own :P

I did manage to get the lighted candles in my windows as that had been my tradition for decades. My Snow Village Dept 56 has been boxed up for the past 7 years, the number of years helping my parents who refused to move from their home.

I've been glued to some Christmas movies, and sig other been glued to sports. Oh how I wished sports weren't on on holidays. I gave up spending hours in the kitchen only to have him scoff down his meal in 10 minutes so he can get back to football. Here it was Christmas Eve day, again football. There will probably be some sporting event on Christmas Day. Thanks cable TV.

I have no children, and sig other grown children lives many States away. My house needs major repairs because I was too busy with my parents to have those repairs done over the years. I know that huge hole in the kitchen ceiling would be a great conversation piece if I did have company :P

I will miss seeing my parents smiling faces when they were opening up Christmas gifts. Oh how they enjoyed the holidays. Back then I use to volunteer at the local hospital on Christmas Day, and sig other it was another work day at the Federal government. Thus we all had Christmas the Sunday prior.... either the grocery store cooked the meal or we ordered out from Olive Garden.
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Merry Christmas Rosses003, you are very sweet doing for others, all the while caring for you Mom! This Christmas is the first without my FIL, who passed away in our home on Hospice this past September. He lived with us for 13 years prior, and it was difficult to take him out to others homes for the holidays, so for the longest time, it limited our choices, and when we did take him out, the outing revolved around him, bathroom breaks, dishing up his food, and helping him about. It will be strange that this Christmas will be easier without him, sad too, but hopefully more enjoyable too.

Life is a cycle, and somehow we weather the tough times. How nice of you to think about others who might also be shut in over the holidays! I am So missing my own parents this time of year, so I try to honor them by keeping our British heritage alive in our traditions and in the food we make, today I made Sausage Rolls, using my Moms recipe! You Enjoy your holidays the best you can!!! Stacey B
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I am spending the holiday alone (with my menagerie), while my father I'm okay with that. I am the primary, albeit long-distance, caregiver for my mother-in-law. My husband is a college professor, so he simply can't fly to Los Angeles, and my job allows me to go out to Los Angeles every month, and then from there to my father's in Florida (and finally home). I could see friends, but frankly, the constant travel and stress of managing things for family members is exhausting, and I'm happy to be alone and take care of the house and the animals.

My Christmas treat is eating things my spouse doesn't like, so I have my "Thanksgiving Shephards' Pie" for Christmas Eve/Day dinner, and Key Lime Pie for dessert. We'll do a bit of Christmas when my spouse comes home.

Merry Christmas and thank you for the warmth you are sharing with your mother and neighbors alone on the holiday.
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Merry Christmas Rosses003, you are very sweet doing for others, all the while caring for you Mom! This Christmas is the first without my FIL, who passed away in our home on Hospice this past September. He lived with us for 13 years prior, and it was difficult to take him out to others homes for the holidays, so for the longest time, it limited our choices, and when we did take him out, the outing revolved around him, bathroom breaks, dishing up his food, and helping him about. It will be strange that this Christmas will be easier without him, sad too, but hopefully more enjoyable too.

Life is a cycle, and somehow we weather the tough times. How nice of you to think about others who might also be shut in over the holidays! I am So missing my own parents this time of year, so I try to honor them by keeping our British heritage alive in our traditions and in the food we make, today I made Sausage Rolls, using my Moms recipe! You Enjoy your holidays the best you can!!! Stacey B
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