Mom has lived with us for twelve years. Within the last two years, she has seen animals in trees, like deer and dogs, that aren't there. Easy to deal with, acknowledge and move on...Then my husband is being accused of shining "flood lights" into her room at night. Took her to doc about that one. Doc told her to take pictures and show them to the doc. Haven't heard about the "lights" since then. Now she tells me that she heard us say that "she stinks" and "she's dirty". Not true - she is sweet smelling. Also said she heard me say "that I can't work, because of her." Not true, I work part time. This morning, she wouldn't let me fix her breakfast because she heard me say "she is too much for me to take care of and I don't want to do it anymore." Not true either. What is going on that she is believing all these negative statements, that have not been said? I was coping OK until now. I am her only child now and her only caregiver. My sister died about five years ago. I am so sad and feel helpless while listening to her say these things and be so angry with me that I am saying these types of things. I do everything for her. What do I do now?
If she does have an infection, hopefully the antibiotics will help limit the hallucinations/delusions. And if not, then you know your Mom is in another stage of memory loss.
Maybe some music might cancel out the voices she hears.
Has she been diagnosed with a particular type of dementia? Visual and auditory hallucinations are more common with some types of dementia than others. Sometimes medications will help. (but the proper diagnosis must be made for the correct medication)
By the way.."floodlights" in her room at night this time of year might be possible. With no leaves on the trees a full moon shining in, or a streetlight, or car headlights could look like floodlights.
As to what she is hearing...It could be snippets of what she hears on TV, she could be recalling what she heard as a child when a parent said that about THEIR parent or even what she may have said about HER parent. Rather than "discuss" it just say..."I am sorry if that is what you thought I said" or "I was talking about the dog being smelly" or other nonsense.
You know what she's saying isn't true. That's going to have to be enough.
Do the right thing for her and you both.