My mother has Alzheimer’s Disease and has been in memory care since March 2025. Would bringing her to her old home for Thanksgiving be a good idea? I would like to do it the day after Thanksgiving this year. Any thoughts or insights would be greatly appreciated.
You could take her out to dinner.
You could have a Thanksgiving dinner where she is.
If you plan on having a large family gathering and they all want to visit mom do so in small groups and shorter visits.
Bringing her home will possibly confuse her, scare her. I can tell you that if you do bring her home or even out to dinner she will want to go "home" quickly.
One of the things with dementia is your world gets smaller and smaller. You are comfortable knowing your surroundings. The 4 walls of the MC where she is is her world. She knows how to get from her room to the activity room, to the dining room, that is comforting when everything else is changing.
Keep in mind ROUTINE is very important and to do something else is also upsetting and confusing.
One of the things that I got into my head was there are no "holidays" .
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years, birthdays had no "special" meaning. It was just like any other day of the week.
Later as he declined more I did not even do any special meals as his food was minced or pureed so he would not have noticed if there was anything special about it.
Too confusing for her , she won’t understand why she can’t stay home ,
She may get upset .
Bring the Thanksgiving to her. Bring her some flowers and a turkey dinner. It shows you are thinking about her and care. Make it a happy day.
Disrupting a persons routine with dementia is NEVER a good idea for all involved. Instead keep it low key and at her new home in the memory care facility.
You can't really predict what a dementia patient will do in a situation like this. Sometimes when they see their old home it's disturbing for them. Then no one will have a good time! Or they might refuse to get in the car to go back to their care home. Then what would you do?
Best to accept things as they are rather than try to revisit a past that they don't remember anyway. I will be celebrating this year with my husband at his memory care facility. That is his home now, though I wish it were otherwise. The important thing is that we will be together - and I don't have to cook the turkey and trimmings!