Follow
Share

My mother has Alzheimer’s Disease and has been in memory care since March 2025. Would bringing her to her old home for Thanksgiving be a good idea? I would like to do it the day after Thanksgiving this year. Any thoughts or insights would be greatly appreciated.

Find Care & Housing
Do not bring her home.
You could take her out to dinner.
You could have a Thanksgiving dinner where she is.
If you plan on having a large family gathering and they all want to visit mom do so in small groups and shorter visits.

Bringing her home will possibly confuse her, scare her. I can tell you that if you do bring her home or even out to dinner she will want to go "home" quickly.
One of the things with dementia is your world gets smaller and smaller. You are comfortable knowing your surroundings. The 4 walls of the MC where she is is her world. She knows how to get from her room to the activity room, to the dining room, that is comforting when everything else is changing.
Keep in mind ROUTINE is very important and to do something else is also upsetting and confusing.

One of the things that I got into my head was there are no "holidays" .
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years, birthdays had no "special" meaning. It was just like any other day of the week.
Later as he declined more I did not even do any special meals as his food was minced or pureed so he would not have noticed if there was anything special about it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Do not bring her home .
Too confusing for her , she won’t understand why she can’t stay home ,
She may get upset .
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to waytomisery
Report

Not a good idea at all. She hasn't been there that long. Mom may refuse to go back to her facility afterward. It would be very hurtful to wander through your former home, something you cannot have anymore. Why upset her?

Bring the Thanksgiving to her. Bring her some flowers and a turkey dinner. It shows you are thinking about her and care. Make it a happy day.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Dawn88
Report

It's probably best at this point to just leave mom where she is and bring the Thanksgiving dinner to her at her facility. All facilities have activity rooms that can be reserved by families for just such purposes.
Disrupting a persons routine with dementia is NEVER a good idea for all involved. Instead keep it low key and at her new home in the memory care facility.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

NO. This will likely sadden her or she will not understand why she can’t go inside.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to LoopyLoo
Report

Not a good idea because dementia patients don't do well with changes in routine. A better idea would be to join her at her memory care home and participate in the Thanksgiving holiday day celebration there, with her.

You can't really predict what a dementia patient will do in a situation like this. Sometimes when they see their old home it's disturbing for them. Then no one will have a good time! Or they might refuse to get in the car to go back to their care home. Then what would you do?

Best to accept things as they are rather than try to revisit a past that they don't remember anyway. I will be celebrating this year with my husband at his memory care facility. That is his home now, though I wish it were otherwise. The important thing is that we will be together - and I don't have to cook the turkey and trimmings!
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Fawnby
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter