Finding Joy in the Journey. I'm wondering what you do to stay encouraged while caring for your loved ones?

My Mom is a difficult one. Always has been. Dad has become so with his decline into the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. But he can still laugh, walk and talk, a little. Today, we went to the beach for a picnic. What person can't enjoy the bright sunshine, cool shade of a summer day, and picnic at the beach? It was wonderful, and refreshed our spirits.

Mom wanted to go, too, but is struggling with symptoms from her myriad of health conditions, and recent bout of new ones from her second Chemotherapy treatment. She is home in bed with a headache, backache, restless legs, and other struggles. She didn't have a great day, but is hoping for a better tomorrow.

I say Mom's difficult. She's always been negative and critical. Today, I'm seeking to stay upbeat and respond to her moods and volatility with grace and gentleness. This is my goal, and sometimes I reach that place.

It is a challenge to learn and grow and stay positive; not just with age and health related issues regarding my parents, but in terms of mental and emotional health as well (theirs as well as mine). This site is just one of the resources God has provided to encourage me to find joy in the journey. It is from here I learn from some of you what works for you, and what doesn't. And often, your experience aids me in dealing with sensitive situations. Thanks so much to all of you who share your experience, strength and hope with others. You bring joy in the journey to those whose lives you touch along the way. Praying your day is blessed!

Yes, angels, indeed. Sounds like a food binge, too. LOL

goodnplenty...chocolate...underwear? diet? who has time to eat? lol......i told my mom she has the cancer and I am losing the weight...we both had a good laugh.....I think i am adding popcorn to the mix........munch munch......we need a movie....i love this site...ummm cookies...i can smell them micheleangel......lots of angels out tonite lol....take care all...

I took my dog for a walk and just was so happy that it stopped raining!! Have a cookie for me. I am on a diet!!

Had fun tonite with my daughter baking cookies for her party, yum they are really good. My Mom enjoyed eating them lol. chocolate chip of course. Then I helped her bake a cake for her boyfriend we have way too many good things to eat around here!!!

Yes, freedom. I took it for granted, too. It's a blessed thing. Hope your day and week is blessed!

Oh, by the way, BD means birthday not Bipolar Disorder, LOL

I sure like the way the mention of chocolate perked everyone up.
i am looking forward to tomorrow. i will take a few hrs off work in the afternoon,while my hired help is at home, and just my husband, daughter and myself will go out to lunch to celebrate my husbands BD. No fast food! All the freedom i took for granted in the past is now a wonderful pleasure. Hopeing all is well with all of you.

Good for you, lovingdaughter! You're making me hungry...lol

Hope everyone's day is going well. May the Lord bless you.

Happy Birthday to your daughter!! My joy is I just lost 8 LBS!!!!!!!!! I even have a CHOCOLATE shake everyday!

Micheleangel, just wondering how the 16th birthday party went for your daughter?

I have to say this site encourages me so much!!! I wish you all a good night and a beautiful day tomorrow, night night.

did I hear good and Plentys? I love them, yesterday when I bought my new undies I also treated myself to a box of them I was on Cloud 9!!!

Awwwwwww, that's a sweet story, dd-angel. Who got weak; your Mom or kitty? And don't worry, I think there's still some chocolate out there. I like it too, and Good and Plentys. Heard there's beneficial "nutrients" in both. Enjoy!

ewww am i too late? pour me some? who has the chocolate? damn i am always late.......the last week has been so hard...my daughter and i had to take the sick kitten over to my moms...darndest thing.....my mom and the cat really bonded for awhile(she is not a cat person)....kitty nuzzled up and slept with her at night and she wrapped him up in her blanket and cuddled him...it made me tear up....was so good for her then she started feeling weak again and asked me to take him home.....it was so nice to see for a few days tho........kitty was a little angel who knew just what to do.

Alena, on your comment about getting away, my Hubby and I did just that in the spring Our kids took care of things here and we threw a few things in a bag and went off for the day and night. It was great!!! Nice to be catered to for a change. I think the best part was it was not planned we just did it. We went to a ski resort in the spring!!! Honestly it didn't matter where we were, it was fun.When we got back the house was still standing all was just fine.

Sometimes doing something for myself simply translates to being able to say no to social actvities that start to feel like command performances and non-stop calendar entries, just to see and be seen. These days, I would much rather enjoy a cup of coffee, or a glass of ice water, or green tea with a friend in my garden, rather than dining out at the finest of restaurants and/or attending the most lavish parties. Not looking to impress anyone, just enjoy precious moments of downtime. "For every thing, there is a time and a season under the sun." Right now, leisure and comfort balance my full-time caregiving commitment just fine. Not looking to stack the deck in any way.

Chocolate!!!!! My new diet shake is chocolate and believe, me, it gets me through the day!!! Yearight, I like the power nap idea. Might go take one now!
Linda

I have a hired cg to care for my parents while i am at work. i would do this even if it took my whole pay check. i thank God for my supportive husband and teen who give me the opportunity to get out of the house now and then. i exercise regularly and i have made my bedroom into a sanctuary where i can listen to music, have computer time,read or just take a power nap. i have my cats(petting a cat is great therapy) and when it gets really bad, i have chocolate!

Micheleangel,
Good for you. I get excited when I buy a new trash can!!!!!!!! Undies are much better!

I have to agree with the being rested. I know that when I am tierd I find my self with less patience and easier to be down and angry for my situation. I try and get exercise regularly and some time to myself each day. Even if that time is only 30 min of reading or planting a flower. I have set up more dates with my husband than I have ever had in my life together with him. I need to get out of the house to vent and just get away. The other thing I recommend is doing overnight stays. This is something I just started the last 6 months with my husband and it has been a wonderful break for me. We will take off to the beach and spend the night in a hotel somewhere. For me it is great to have private time with my husband and it is a REAL treat to wake up in the morning, be alone with my coffee and hear nothing. You have to find what works for you and then make it part of your routine otherwise you will become unhealthy. When I come home even though it is only one day I am refreshed and encouraged and healthy. I then have the energry and the spirit to carry on with a good attitude.

Well if that was said by anyone else, I may wonder, but as a caregiver, I COMPLETELY GET IT.... LOL

Happy shopping!

You do need to do something for yourself in our senior there were seniors that made phone calls to shut ins or people who lived alone and I made lap robes for the center to donate to hospitals and nursing and one of my friends knited baby hats for the hospital while caring for her husband above was suppose say our senior center because some day your caregiving work may end and it will be harder if you do not have something you are use to doing for yourself

Well probably not appropriate but I was encouraged yesterday when I went out and bought myself some new UNDIES!!!! Yep I finally did something for me. I was so happy like a kid in a candy store, and the best part of all THEY FIT, Yippee

Today the contractor finally showed up to build a shade structure over the patio!! Mom will be so happy. She loves to sit there, but the sun is to bright!

This sign hangs by my dresser: Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain. Maybe these words will help to find humor, love, patience and faith.

Me, just came back from lunch with a dear friend. Makes the day brighter and the task at home easier. I think the key is not to lose yourself on this journey.
Linda

What do I do to stay encouraged? Now I'm more distanced from the situation so I can enjoy a whole lot more. Overall, I had to step back, breathe and pray. When I read what people were doing on these boards in coping daily, my outlook turned much brighter. A little easier to handle for me personally.

SecretSister,

Glad you have such a positive outlook. My mom's assets were easy, just her house and a cd and a small bank account. We spent the money on her care, sold the house and put the proceeds into a trust. Now we have 2 more years for the 5 year look back. We use the money from the house for her care, but eventually is will run out. Then we will be left with SS and Veterans benefits. We are going to sell our house and move into a 55 and over to make it easier for us and her. Our best friends just did it and took her 99 year old mom with them. If she did it, so can we. Good luck and get some rest!!!!!!
Linda

Dear Naus, I had to do an initial accounting, but it took much more than a week. My cousin went into Mom and Dad's before I was appointed Conservatorship, and worked for months (literally) trying to organize their maze of confusion. She was a godsend. It took me 1 1/2 months to do the initial report. Then 2 1/2 months to spend down and qualify for Medicaid for Dad. They had IRA's, Pension, Annuities, etc. But they also had hundreds of thousands of dollars of old debt on credit cards and a mortgage. It is the most complicated thing I've ever done. It was due May 21, and the court called me in (sent a letter of deficiency). All this, and dealing with my parent's illness, and a 200 mile move for Dad. Then a 200 mile change of location for Mom, too. No small task, any of it. I'm so tired, I hurt sometimes. But I'm also gifted with perseverance. God guides my steps. Without him, I'd fail. Thanks for asking.

My hubby had to do some for his Dad, too, but his was much easier.