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Mom has dementia and can not walk since two falls last year. After being released from rehab I brought her home thinking with the help of hospice services and paying out of pocket for two sitters during the day while I worked I could handle her at home. The situation has become very draining financially and physically on me. The nursing home that hospice is affiliated with I am not very impressed with even though it is five miles from my home. Also, I have been trying to show for 4 months that she is eligible for Medicaid here in GA. Because of the way the banking statement fall her bank accounts look like she has more money than she does after expenses are paid out.

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The "assisted" to the meeting ...sorry I should have written 'attended"...just in case for the next time, English is my second language...again thanks to all, that for 2 years had being understanding me...
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Thanks Madison, but I never had the opportunity of doing my homework. Two years ago the hospital sent my husband to a NH, I had no choice, they just told me it was the only one with available bed. Since then, I have been doing my homework to transfer him with no success..."sorry, no beds available...sorry, we can not accept him...etc". Again, as a business, (Medicaid) they reserve their right to choose their residents. My husband, severe dementia and sundowners syndrome, is not one of their "preferred candidates". So far, even though, is a little far from home, and not an exclusive ALZ/memory care institution I feel comfortable with his care.
Thanks to all that answer my recent question about the roach in the bedroom. I assisted to the meeting and with the guidance of some of your comments I was able to handle the situation with diplomacy.
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Nerie86, hospice is for those diagnosed with an end stage illness with a life expectency of six months or less. That does not mean that person will die in six months, it could be more, it could be less-only God knows. Six months is a bench mark that hospices have to follow. To the best of the Dr.'s knowledge this person's life expectency is.... Hospice can be provided anywhere the person calls home. Nursing home, personal care home, private residence. It's true some accept Medicaid and some don't, which is why you have to do your homework
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I am confused, I thought hospice care was after NH care (for final care). Yes, NH are a business. The difference is some of those "business" accept Medicaid, and others don't, like the ones recommended by a Place for Mom....
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The protocol is to inform your Hospice Nurse that you cannot do this at home. Your nurse then sends mom to in-patient Hospice Care.
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If your mom is under hospice care, you will need to find out what SNF's (skilled nursing facililies the hospice has contracts with. They should be able to provide you with a list. If you pick a SNF and her hospice doesn't have a contract with them, ask if they can get a "one time contract" which is exactly what it reads. It's a one time contract specifically for your mom to get hospice care at that facility. States vary in the way they handle Medicaid. All will want their money back once mom has passed-which is known as MERP (Medicaid Estate Recovery Program). An Elder Law Attorney is a good idea. Being on hospice, the SNF will not question why you want to place her if she only has a few months to live. If you want to keep her home, contact your local Area Agency on Aging, they can provide you with resources to help. Good luck.
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I started with a list of referrals from "A Place for Mom". It is free (at least for the person that is searching). They gave me financial advice that helped. I visited, visited, visited. I generally did not make appointments, I just showed up. I wanted to see if the people that worked there were happy AND that they we engaged with happy residents. If you show up unannounced (within daytime working hours) the facility personnel should be happy to see you and show you around. If no one was available I made an appointment. Nursing homes are a business. They want customers. Most admissions and financial people are going to bend over backward to figure out a way to get paid by Medicare. (Cynical, I know.) The problem I see you having is that your mother is in Hospice. They are going to seriously question why you are seeking nursing care if your mother has only a few months to live. My experience with hospice with my father was about allowing him to die with minimal medical intervention and not keeping him healthy and engaged in life. I think most nursing care facilities actually want to start their relationship with their residents with that goal in mind. You are making the right decision about your mother but it is not easy.
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You might try a elder lawyer.Allot of them have initial free consultations.Also the medical community might be of service,I am positive they would have suggestions.If your gut is telling you something is wrong with that nursing home ask the medical community for advice.Hospice is affiliated with lots of nursing homes.If they are telling you just that one something is very wrong.If worse comes to worse the ER..then the hospital has to take steps.Keep "punching" as my dad would say, just get in there and "fight".Call your local resources, I am sure your local court house would have some information and ideas.Good luck
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