How can I find time to take care of myself without going out of my mind?

Good for you! You do need to get help. I spent many years with growing children (one with severe heath challenges of his own) and multiple elders who needed my help. It's not only exhausting - it can be damaging to more than just ourselves. There comes a time when outside help is the only answer. We can still be very, very involved with everyone but it takes more than one person to provide care for multiple ill people and give growing children some quality time, as well. Good luck in finding quality help.
Warm wishes,
Carol

It is so overwhelming being a caregiver to my mom a stroke victim, dad who is overwhelmed because mom always did everything and now can not. I am a wife, mother to 3 boys, 15,12,8. I also work part time as a RN. Our family life has obviously changed, all involved try and help. But I am spread to thin, I thought I could do it all, care for all, After a year, I have stress headaches, not sleeping, my husband is tired, he works full time to come home and help with homework, run boys around to after school activities. My boys are starting to complain that I am not there... my family does not complain, we love our folks and grandparents . But we have lost our family. I have started to walk some mornings with friends. Mom sleeps till 10 and dad stays with mom. I worry about dad, he has no time for self and he has lost 30lbs. Dad has been resistant to getting help to come in, however, I will start looking at agencies during the holiday so I can get help after first of year

As others have said, we have to *make* time since we'll never *find* it. What I've told myself and believe to be true is that if I go down my loved ones will have lost me and that could be the end of them. That is unfair to everyone.

While I've never been great at finding (or making) "me time," I have made the effort. Without doing so I'd have completely burned out long ago. For me, the answer has been getting up at 4 a.m. so I can meditate. That may not be the answer for many people but it's helped me. Others may consider that self-punishment but my point is that we must try to find something that works for us.

Please keep telling us how you are doing. We know how your are feeling as much as anyone else can and you'll get a variety of views from the community.

Blessings,
Carol

At first I felt overwhelmed with caregiving for my Mom who is bedridden. I began to get up early to make some time for myself to read or write in a journal before the day begins. Making this time for myself early mornings has really helped.

Somehow, some way, find the time. Otherwise, you'll have a physical or mental breakdown, and then what will you do? As Jill1027 says, if you're looking for time, you may not find it, so you have to "make" time. I wish you well.

Hi Nitabu13, it's time to make "You" part of your daily routine. Just as important as your patient, we have to find time for ourselves. If you don't have anyone to assist you by taking your patient/loved one, then you need to adjust your already stretched schedule to devote 30 minutes each day to your mind/body/soul. It may sound ridiculous but the alternative is "going out of my mind" and you need to stay firm that you refuse to do that! I used to wake up at 5:00 to maintain my mind/body and soul. It was the only hour of my day that I could control. If you are looking for time in your schedule you may not find it, if you make time in your schedule you'll be much better off.

It is worthwhile to invest in having professional caregivers come in sometime to provide respite on the weekends or during the weekday. There may be other siblings, relatives and friends who you may be able to call on, but that can be an imposition although they may not want to say so. Now, other siblings can certainly chip in to pay for home health care...the very least they can do. The cost can run from $18-$23 per hour, requiring a minimum of 4 hours to be taken in one day.

Thank you.

You sounds like you are burning out. Does anyone care for your mother while you are at work? Do you have any siblings? Would it be possible to bring in some caregivers on weekends to give you a break? If you drop dead to the floor, then who is going to take care of your mother? Have you investigated the reputation of the nursing homes in your area?