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While I've never been great at finding (or making) "me time," I have made the effort. Without doing so I'd have completely burned out long ago. For me, the answer has been getting up at 4 a.m. so I can meditate. That may not be the answer for many people but it's helped me. Others may consider that self-punishment but my point is that we must try to find something that works for us.
Please keep telling us how you are doing. We know how your are feeling as much as anyone else can and you'll get a variety of views from the community.
Blessings,
Carol
Truly speaking, I don't have control of my time any more. I look after my 96-year-old mother who has dementia and doesn't walk well so she has to be watched. I never know when she'll sleep or wake. I can't predict her behavior nor how much cleaning up after her will be necessary on any day.
Yes, there's lots of time in between chores, mostly spent sitting near her. I can read, watch TV, do little projects. But something happens to the brain when this sort of captivity is forced upon me. Normal mental resources aren't available. I go dull and muddle-headed and lose sight of the big picture.
I'm not always able to overcome this. But one device that helps is to make a list of things to do as time and opportunity permit. For example, I can't go take a shower and wash my hair unless Mom is asleep or someone else is watching her. But I can take care of my feet. I can do sewing repairs. I can set up the ironing board nearby and catch up that work. And so on.
A bit of creativity is needed and some discipline. The trick is to remain focused on the fact that BOTH the elder being cared for AND the caregiver are precious human beings, deserving of the best possible life, moment by moment. From that perspective, the self care practices arise of their own accord.
Blessings to you and yours during this special season.
Thank you.
What has helped for me, is to make sure I "book" time with girlfriends to go out once or twice a month and, during lunch breaks at work, I walk around the block and notice the birds, decorations, trees, etc. If the weather isn't good, I read and eat lunch at my desk or in the break room to talk with others (I'm a therapist). I've (periodically) gone to a meditation class and then used the techniques I learned. I make sure to sit down to eat a decent breakfast and pack a good lunch (so I don't eat from the candy dish or get crappy fast food). It takes a commitment to myself that I'm worth it, and that if I DON'T take care of myself, I won't be able to enjoy the freedom that will be available to me when this caregiving stage is over. I also get to Meeting on Sundays at least twice a month, where I get spiritual support. Each of these things I do takes no more than a few minutes to maybe 2-3 hours, while someone else cares for/sits with Mom. It's helping me maintain my sanity and my sense of humor. It makes me feel better just to KNOW that I'm taking care of myself, too.
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