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I've been taking care of my 96 yr. mom for 5 1/2 yrs. and not sure if this is burnout or fears about her passing, all of it, some of it....or something else going on. Feedback?

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I am furious with people too...and especially the 2 loser nursing homes that couldn't rehab Mom last year, aide that dropped Mom putting her in a wheelchair and broke Mom's leg, the first nursing home that let a stage 4 pressure sore happen and didn't tell me about it and I only heard about it from an intake nurse at a hospital. For all the crap that has come out of physical therapists mouths etc. I am so angry!! I am angry at all the losers that came into our lives these many months. I am therefore all the more grateful for those that helped and did their jobs well. I find that laughing at people when they screw up seems to get to them more than yelling or scolding them. It seems to show them what failures they are and maybe hopefully they will be more careful and think twice before they hurt someone else. For some reason eventually these hurts come back on those that dish them out. I have felt a lot of pressure before the kind hospice people came on board. What a difference. It is normal to be angry when you deal with incompetent people and losers.
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I think it's normal to become more sensitive when you yourself are dealing with challenging situations, whether they're parental, emotional, psychological, financial or others that have nothing to do with caregiving, or even just everyday situations such as someone who tail gates while you're driving.

As others suggest, take them with a grain of salt, give a standard answer, but confide only in those who really understand your situation. Try to think of something funny as well. The old standard was to think of someone w/o clothing, but I'm sure we could all come up with some vision that would turn the situation into a humorous one rather than an irritating one.

When someone nearly runs me off the road while he or she is speeding, as happened yesterday, sometimes I imagine him/her hitting ice and spinning around, getting so dizzy he/she can't see straight, or even hitting a tree. It may be unkind and negative, but it puts an "end" to the irritation created by some idiot on the road.
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I don't know if it's normal, but I felt the same. Mind you, with some of the bone-headed comments people make, and given the stress you're under, why should you have to exercise special patience at this of all times? Try to substitute an eye-roll for any verbal retort, and that way you won't say anything you later regret. Deep breaths. Hugs to you.
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You're very vulnerable right now and that might make you a little more prickly than you usually are. I would imagine that you are under a lot of stress as well which can also cause us to be hypersensitive.

The good thing is that you're aware of it and you know why you're feeling that way. Be gentle with yourself right now and allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.
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Perhaps now that you are focused on something profound, other people's observations seem superficial. Does that ring true?

People in mourning are often hypersensitive. That was partially the objective of wearing signs of mourning -- warning others that the this person may not be emotionally stable, please make allowances. The state of mourning can begin before the actual death.

Mourning is not the same as depression, but you could also be depressed, especially if you are emotionally worn out or in a state of caregiver burnout.

I think if I were you I'd confide in my closest friends, do my best to be patient, and hang in there. If the condition seems to be getting worse and more than you can overcome with willing yourself to be patient, then I suggest a few sessions with a counselor, just to see you through this difficult time.

Hugs to you.
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