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I am caring for my 92 year old mother and desperately need a break away with my husband, any suggestions for how to get someone in to stay for a couple of days that is trustworthy?

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It's best to go through an in-home agency. Ask for references and check them out. If one person wasn't happy with the agency, but most are, then consider that it could be a personality thing. But if you find many aren't satisfied with the agency, then find another.

It would be good if you could get a caregiver from the agency to come in a couple of times ahead of your leaving, so your mother can get feel more comfortable with her when you are gone. Then make sure the agency knows who to assign for the time you are gone. It would be worth the extra expense.
Carol
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Most Assisted Living communitie offer respite care and she can engage in all the activities and have all the care she would have if she lived there. It is a wonderful option and you will be stressfree knowing she is getting all the care and meals and activities that will help her through her "vacation" while you enjoy yourself too.
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Assisted Living respite care is a good way to go as long as she is able to have some independence. We did a 2 week stay at a nursing home for mom. It was their minimum stay. I spent a week getting things straight for her and week away. It was not worth the cost. This year we had someone from the agency that we use stay for a week. Mom knows her since she comes one day a week and it was a blessing. Michelle even handled a tornado, and a power outage when we were gone. It was 215.00 a day and much cheaper than a NH and mom was able to stay in her own environment. Hope this helps
Linda
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I noticed in the paper a lot of nursing homes are offering respite care these days so you might check into that also day care centers might have info for you
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Hi I would encourage you to call your local homecare agency.. They can help you find someone who is reliable and trustworthy. Their may even be someone on their staff willing to do this for you. Often nursing students are looking for jobs like this. The other option is the nursing homes in your area, many nursing homes do respite care. I actually think it can be for up to two weeks. This could be upsetting to your Mom however. so approach this with her gently. Many elders resent the idea of a nursing home for any reason. take care and I do wish you well....
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Talk to those you trust through word of mouth. We were fortunate to have a friend who used to work for the office of aging and referred someone to us. Then, through her we found another. The home health nurse gave us a terrific referral we are just now using. Also, dad's physical therapist gave us a referral. Check with trusted church members who you know as well. My father is 96 and is now on hospice. Check into that as we just discovered they will pay for five days respite care and follow up with him at the facility. We just realized how important it is to get away so we have scheduled it on our calendar in writing so we do it. Once a week we make sure we get away. Today was the first day for six hours but we realized we will do it for eight next time. Twice a month we will get out of dodge and the other weeks go somewhere locally like movies. Guard your marriage and best wishes!!
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1215 is so right. Get away so that your time on duty is so much easier. We do, and it is the best thing we have done for our sanity.
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If you are set upon care being provided in the home, please use a reputable agency, one who will give you references. As the executive director of an assisted living that provides respite care, I can assure that too is a viable and great option. Your mom could easily benefit from the additional opportunities for socialization. For optimum peace of mind, I also recommend having a local contact for either the agency or assisted living residence in your absence. One can never predict when a medical emergency may arise and having a designated person/persons to act and advocate for your mom will help you feel even more serene as you enjoy your break from caregiving.
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Lois is also correct. When we had mom in a nursing home for the duration of our vacation, we had 2 people looks out for mom and visit daily. Bother were very familiar with her care and had permission to be her advocate. It helped a great deal and gave us added peace of mind.
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I would love to know (1) how others have fared with respite care in a nursing home, and (2) just how do you break it gently?! My husband works away from home for 3 weeks and during that time it's mom and me and some help from the visiting nurses. I have ladies who come in 2 days/week so I can run errands and keep my own dr appts, but I still have to do all the morning stuff, supper, and evening stuff. I need a break! When my husband is home for his 10 days/month, I crave uninterrupted time alone with him but it doesn't happen. So....this month we are going on a vacation and are planning on putting mom in a nursing home for respite care. We dont' have any family willing or able to stay with here here, and I think it's our best alternative. I haven't figured out how to tell her or the timing of when it tell her. She's a worrier, and if I tell her too early she will be up nights and stressing days. Any suggestions or input would help. And just for the record, although I think you all know this, this website is a lifesave!
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