Mom now and always has been a textbook narcissist whose conduct falls into the very high end of the spectrum. At 90, her mixed dementia compounds the the problem to a degree that makes her utterly repellent, driving friends and family away. No one can stand to be in her presence longer than 10 minutes and here I am, her daughter functioning as her POA and chief caregiver. I went thru years of therapy dealing with the fallout of her behavior. Recognizing she will never change, I chose low contact, which up until Mom's recent dx worked fairly well. Now that she has mixed dementia and living in memory care, I struggle with how much contact to maintain. The narcissism remains unabated; if anything it's worse, and now that she has a disease she cannot help, for the sake of compassion should I increase my contact? To risk more contact with Mom seems perilous. I am very, very careful of my own emotional health. I've kept my visits and phone calls are minimal. In MC, Moms physical needs are being met. She feels superior to all the residents there and insists she doesn't belong there. Not surprisingly, she is miserable in her new digs and blames me for it, waging a war of character assassination on me to anyone who will listen. I've resigned myself to it. I don't even challenge it because it does no good. Again, to those who've been down this path, how did you manage? If you had a do-over, would you have done things differently? I'm looking for a balance of compassion but not at the expense of my own emotional health. Mom has inflicted a world of damage on me, and though I'm much stronger now, I'm extremely wary of giving her more.