My mother had a living will made when my father died in 1997. She also appointed an executrix, (my sister), and 3 POAs, (all three of us siblings). I have read that this is a very poor set up. Laws have also changed a lot in 15+ years. My siblings seem to only be concerned about inheritence and not so much about Mom's care.
I live at home with Mom and work as a hospice aide full time. I have seen what can happen to the elderly if they don't have their financial and care ducks in a row. Mom's signs of dementia are deepening and I am the "IT" Sibling.
I have tried to have conversations with my siblings regarding Mom's care and safety but I'm not getting very far. Family history is that I am the caregiving peace maker and others keep their power by remaining silent and sitting on their cards until I shut up and go away. I don't want to lose my brother and sister and I'm tired of holding the bag. I'm exchausted at work and home. It is difficult for me to be pleasant with Mom.
My sister wants to use an attorney who is a friend of hers. She seems to have all the faith in the world in her but I think it is naive of my sister because she, (the attorney) does not specialize in elder care. I also think it would be naive for me to agree to use her BECAUSE she is my sister's friend. My sister has distanced herself from me again, as she does in times of stress.