Follow
Share

This past Sat my 90yr old mother moved into my house with me (I'm 55yr old her one and only daughter). Both her and I have been living alone independantly (her for 20yrs, me 37yrs). I have older half brother who keeps his distance both phyiscally and communicative. I have a middle brother who has been in & out of jail all his life who mooched off my father until he passed away and has sinced moved onto my mother. My mother's short term memory is failing fast so she can say she won't give my brother money but I find that she did. My brother lives between motels and Salvation Army. I work FT and am away all day, she's fine so far alone but I fear my brother visiting or leaving her alone with him. Meaning not monitoring the visit. Do I have any recourse of the situation? Other than putting my name on her account is there anything else I can do? Help I am alone in the situation.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
It's now been 3wks...so far my brother has been at bay....but my mother's unhappiness continues (because of me taking her out of her comfort zone)...she put a deposit down on an apt in her former apt complex...but the apt won't be ready for another 3wks...I'm thinking the complex will turn her down in the meantime either because of her age or because she had a 'bed bug' incident last year (bed bugs were from my brother and where he was living) but I'm hoping they dont and she's able to move back (for both of our sanity).....thinking one more year of independence for her will help.....
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

An addiitonal thought --- remove financial statements or he can bring your Mom to the bank and have her take cash out. Without the account info, that wouldn't be possible. Ditto for all financial accounts/investments/insurance info/credit cards etc. She should not have ATM cards either. And I endorse the input about removing all things that have ANY value (financial or sentimental)
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

It is your residence. Tell your brother he is not allowed on the premises when you are not there. If he violates your wishes, have him charged with illegal entrance or illegal trespassing. Let your mother know you only want your brother visiting when you are at home. Most drastic option would to seek guardianship for your mother.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

That is why they call them "vulnerable". You definitely need Durable Power of Attorney and to now handle her financial affairs. There are a multitude of vultures out there waiting to take advantage of the elderly and they will not have a problem running over you to do it. Brace yourself for the fight of a lifetime. Sorry & I wish you all the grace & mercy of God.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I wonder if you could go so far as having an order of protection against him? Could you put up video cameras in your home, so you can monitor what is going on?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thinking of Robin's answer...if your mother has any stocks, bonds, mutuals and/or other liquid financial assets, it would be a good idea to move them to a safe place, as I suggested either a locked fireproof box hidden away or at a bank safety deposit box. I.e., anything that he could convert into cash should be hidden or removed.

I assume her SS check is already directly deposited into her checking account.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I can think of 3 ways he could "mooch" off your mother:

1. Cash 2. Checking 3. "Stuff".

If you don't leave her any cash, he can't get that.

If you take the check book with you, she won't be able to write checks.

I don't think there's much you can do about items, except putting her jewelry or other valuables in a locked fireproof box for which you keep the key, or putting them in a safety deposit box at your bank.

As to monitoring any visits, the best thing I can think of is closed circuit tv, but I wouldn't tell your mother or she may mention it to him.

The other thing you could do is far more drastic and that's to request a PPO (personal protection order) against him, barring him from calling or coming to your house. But that may cause more hard feelings than it's worth, and your mother may actually still want to see him.

You would have to provide information on situations in which he has mooched off of her, though; the order wouldn't likely be granted based on speculation.

Good luck. Sorry it has to come to this.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Do you have POA for your mother? It sounds like mom is in the beginning of dementia. You need to be on her account and handling her money for her. Then brother can't take advantage of her. She needs your help, not just a roof over her head. It is in her best interest to do this. It will make later decisions easier.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.