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My 80 year old mom can no longer care for my elderly dad who has no idea where he is, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She does not want to lose the small amount of money she has to pay for dad’s care. How will she live? Unfortunately I am unable to support my parents financially. My mom is in good health. I know they are not the only ones. Please help.

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MMartha, if your father is in the hospital as an admitted patient (not under observation status), you need to ask if he can be sent to rehab. Pick the rehab carefully, you want to make sure that it's a place that has long term NH services and that they will accept a "Medicaid pending" patient.

Has your mom ever consulted with an eldercare attorney? You need to find someone who is certified and one who is familiar with Medicaid regs in YOUR state.

You can start by calling the local Area Agency on Aging and finding out what resources exist in the community to aid your parents.
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Has your mother applied for Medicaid for your father? Medicaid will not impoverish the "community spouse", the husband or wife who is not entering a nursing home.

Has your mom ever discussed this with the discharge planners when dad has been hospitalized?
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Martha01 Dec 2019
No, she has never discussed this with the discharge planner. I have been there too and did not see anyone around with this title. However, your answer is very helpful to us. Thank you.
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We have an expert poster here, Gabriel Heiser. He is an attorney and Medicaid expert.

If you do a search on the site, you will be able to send him a PM and he might be able to guide you.

Also, reading his responses to others will help you understand the process better.
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Martha01 Jan 2020
My dad passed away at the end of December. It was a blessing but very sad because I miss the great dad I knew and loved. (and will always love!) My mom is handling things well. He was in Hospice for 7 days will all of us by his side when he left. Just thought I'd let you know the ending of the story.
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Ask to speak with a social worker, that will help you find the person that can help get your mom pointed in the right direction.

www.nelf.org is the website that will help you find a certified elder law attorney in your area. I have found that it is best to use a certified elder law attorney because that is what they do day after day, so they are up to date with everything, no paying for their time to figure it out.

Your mom does not need to become impoverished for dad to receive help, however, any assets will be split to help with his care. She will get to keep her home and she may even receive part of his SS benefits, but 401k, vacation homes and the such will come into play, just a heads up, but a certified elder law attorney will educate you all properly on how it works and do everything possible for mom.
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Consult an Elder Attorney.  You can complete a division of assets and they spouse in the home can keep the home, a car and 1/2 their assets.  I have been a d/c planner for 20 years.  This is what I always recommend.
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bigsispjt Dec 2019
What is a DC planner?
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They should apply for Medicaid for your father. They will leave your mother with adequate funds. They will not impoverish her. Go to your local Medicaid office and speak with a representative.
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Poster replied to a response. Her Dad passed away.
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gladimhere Jan 2020
The notice that dad passed was just posted a couple of hours ago.

Martha, I am sorry for your loss.
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My MIL’s house was held jointly by her, a widow, and my DH. When she entered a nursing home, we had to rent the house, and half the rental went to her care, half to my husband.
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Well that won’t happen to the OP’s
mom because this is a spouse-spouse owning a home situation, not a mother-child owning a home situation. The OPs mother will not have to rent the house and split the rental income.
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So sorry for your loss.

May God be with your mom and all of you during this difficult time. May He give you strength and peace.
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