Hi, everyone. I'm new here. My 93-year-old mother moved in with us almost three years ago. I'm actually feeling a bit overwhelmed at this point, even though she's still doing all of her own self-care: showering, dressing, toileting, even putting on her own compression socks! I am responsible for cooking all her meals which, except for our communal dinner, are eaten at different times throughout the day, which means I am preparing meals much of the day. I clean up after her, including her bathroom, laundry, and bedroom. I take care of all her financial, tax, and investment issues. I manage all of her appointments, health care, and medications. There are MANY things I could ask questions about here, but today this is my question: How do we allocate paying for things that are principally a help to ME? If I want to get a bi-weekly cleaning service to take care of her bath- and bedroom areas, who pays for that? These are guest areas that didn't require frequent cleaning before she moved in, but getting help wouldn't really benefit my mother, only my sanity. Similarly, if I want to take a trip with my husband and have my mom go to respite care for a couple of weeks, I assume the onus of paying for that is mine, not hers? I know so many people here are in much, much more difficult circumstances than I, so I hope this doesn't sound too trivial. My grip on things feels very brittle right now (the dog recently got sick, and that was enough to destabilize the fine balance I've worked out). I really no longer have a life that doesn't revolve around my mom's needs (welcome to the club, right?). Any advice is much appreciated.