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Yet another heartwrenching story about a family being torn apart by greed, finances, and the death of a relative. :-\ I'll try to keep this short, as it really is a looooong story.

My grandfather was hospitalized (against his will) because his alzheimers/demetia had become too much for him to handle while taking care of my virtually helpless grandmother. My aunt, who had for many years stopped by the house and helped care for the two of them, moved my grandmother into her home with her family. Her husband is disgustingly greedy, and made his wife tell the family that she would take full care of my grandmother ONLY if her husband got all the money from my grandparents' bank accounts and the house. The family (of course) disagreed, and further, questioned the care my grandmother would receive from someone who seemed to be doing it entirely for financial gain - so my aunt went behind everyone's back and had my grandmother "give her" the entire contents of their bank account. It was clearly elder abuse, but we don't want to send family to jail - we just want things right... Needless to say, shortly thereafter, my grandmother passed away.

My aunt and her husband changed the locks on the house and have kept the family from being able to visit "because we might steal things". The house is in my grandfather's name (who is now in critical condition with a week or two at most to live), so we know this is also illegal... And she refuses to speak to anyone about the finances or the house.

We have been trying to obtain a guardianship through a local elder law firm who has now taken $10,000 of our money, and done absolutely nothing except lie to us. They claim they were going to file paperwork the next day - we called for a week before they finally got back to us and said the courts changed the forms, so they were submitting it late. Shouldn't an elder law firm KNOW this?? Anyway...

We're now at the point where my grandfather is extremely close to death and extremely frail. He's not really sound of mind, and the lawyers just told us they decided to transfer the case to a different court district because Dutchess County, NY "requires the elder to appear in court" which, of course, is not possible for someone on life support...

We feel abused on all fronts here - not sure how to proceed with my aunt and uncle (who, by the way, also "adopted" and are trying to obtain the assets of his dying brother), and I just have no idea what the lawyers are doing... Or if they're just trying to "wait this out" so they can charge us without having to do work.

I am absolutely livid, and extremely frustrated because it seems like there's no way out and time is running out... Any advice would be appreciated... :-\ Thanks everyone.

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Madge is right - you have two choices that I can see - get another attorney (more money but you may be able to nail these relatives who are abuse elders financially) or else let it go and stay away from them. This is a very tough decision, because as you say, you aren't looking for jail, but want justice. Unfortunately, when you bring in the law, you may have to file charges to get any satisfaction. You may want to seek some emotional counseling from a spiritual leader or a professional counselor to help you sort through what you can handle emotionally. Please let us know how you are doing.
Carol
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Well, in the end you have to have a lawyer to do anything about all of this mess. Also you need to report these guys for elder abuse. Sounds like the aunt and her husband thought she was entitled to something for the care and sounds like grandma went along with it for some reason. Sorting out who is right or wrong is the problem. Is it worth the expense of hiring a lawyer and going to court, etc. If not just realize your aunt and uncle are just not good people and stay far away from them in the future.
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