I've posted here once before about my dad (81), who has lived with me for 35 months in my house since my mother died three years ago. I am now seriously considering a care home for him. I had a taste of what that would be like earlier this year, when he had surgery on his bunions and went to stay in a care home/hospital for 8 weeks as part of our public health system.
Since then, my girlfriend has moved in with me and I've been having a hard time having him back at home. It can be really hard to get space from him, as he spends all his time sitting in the kitchen/dining area, despite having the best bedroom in the house.
When he first got back he was wearing a moon boot and was very resistant to the idea of taking it easy while it was on, and as a result had a fall down our back stairs while trying to take some rubbish out to the bins.
I actually enjoyed visiting him while he was in care and we had a lot more quality conversation. At home, he just seems to be in my way constantly, asking me questions, wanting to talk about his bowel movements and it's just making me resent him which isn't good. He's also obsessive about dishes and tries to tell me and my girlfriend off when we leave a plate or two out, even though it isn't his place. And that annoys my girlfriend and makes things tense.
His doctor does think he has the beginnings of dementia. I feel very guilty about wanting him in a home and I am worried he will decline - but he actually seemed to kind of enjoy his temporary stay and liked the staff and nurses. It will also be quite expensive, as it won't be covered by the public system which also makes me nervous.
He's not entirely helpless - he goes to town, goes to the supermarket and goes to a gym class for older people. But he can't make his own dinners, or manage his finances. I had thought assisted living would be good, but a family friend who is around the same age thinks a rest home would be more suitable.
I guess this isn't really a question - just looking for some reassurance!