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A friend was at her wit's end trying to get her MIL off the road. (MIL was an alcoholic and had other health issues, but rest of family seemed to think that "everyone knows about her" so supposedly they would all drive super defensively around her!) She reported to CA DMV and also got a sheaf of reporting forms and started handing them out to anyone who asked her why MIL was still driving, explained that any concerned community member could report her to DMV. Well, it took a lot of persistence but it worked. And no one was hurt or killed. In this case, part of the problem was that MIL's license should have been suspended under California law because of a head injury she had sustained, BUT MIL was life flighted to a hospital in Nevada and the docs there never thought to report it to California DMV.
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Reply to rovana
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Law enforcement may be able to help, do you have a friend or relative on the force? I was rear-ended by a woman in her 80s who clearly had no business driving. The officer that took the report filled out a request for a priority re-examination so that her license would be revoked. Perhaps he would stop driving if the DMV takes away his license?
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Reply to worriedinCali
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That makes me wonder about some of the people in our small town; many over 80 still driving.....
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Reply to mally1
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When his family are all cowering in fear of him, ask them how’d they would feel if their dad plowed into someone on the road and severely injured or killed them. We had an incident here in Ohio a few years back when a senior lady who had no business driving hit the accelerator instead of the brake and ran over a crowd of people, killing two of them. Hit them in the pocketbook. If, God forbid this happens, court costs and fines would eat up any savings he has. Is there anything that would prevent him from driving without a license?
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Ok, maybe my BIL, who is Johnny on the spot for them, can tell me who the doctor is and how to contact. Good idea!
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Reply to mally1
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My stepmom and I spoke to my dad's doctor about the driving. She in turn sent a letter to the driver's licensing department, which informed them that he was not allowed to drive for medical reasons. It was a hard thing to do - and he always pined for the freedom of driving - but it was necessary for the safety of others on the road.
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Reply to Dorianne
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Thank you all..... what I didn't think to say is that his family is all afraid of him and he dislikes me, because I'm not; won't talk to me if he can help it. Guess I'll pray that the Lord will do it; He has many ways!
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Reply to mally1
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For the safety of everyone else on the road, FIL needs to stop driving. But, you already know this. Other than giving up our homes when we can no longer manage them, handing over the car keys is the most difficult thing for us Senior Citizens to do. None of us wants to be dependent on our kids to haul our behinds up to Mickey D’s If we get a craving for a Quarter Pounder at 9PM. But, especially if Dad has had a few close calls, he may already realize he can’t drive any longer. I know it’s the elephant in the room. The subject needs to be approached with gentle honesty, respect and compassion. On some level Dad knows he needs to give up driving and although he may argue and deny it, if you approach it the right way, he just may acquiesce.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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My dad's doctor allowed me to make him the bad guy when it came to my dad giving up driving. Prior to an appointment I wrote a short note to the doctor and gave it to the nurse for the doctor to read before he came into the office. During the visit, the doctor advised my dad to give up driving so my dad did.

However, this was my last desperate attempt to get my dad to stop driving as we had discussed it time and again. He was bumping into things and there were dents and dings on his car. I tried for months to get my dad to stop driving but until the doctor advised it my dad wouldn't hear of it.
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Reply to Eyerishlass
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Scary how? Drives too fast, fender benders, unexplained dings in the car, cuts off other drivers?

What other options are available in his community?

Mum's partner does not drive much any more, only within a couple miles of home and not on the highway. The last time I was in a car with him driving (4 years ago), I told him if he did not slow down I was calling 911 from the back seat. Before that I had not been in a car he was driving for over 15 years.
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Reply to Tothill
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Have you talked to his doctor about it?
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Reply to gladimhere
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