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I did fill out the AL Calculator here on this Agingcare website, for my mom who is in her 90s and lives at home. She is getting more & more frail, and has fallen. She has a little nest egg and gets Social Security, BUT even with that, she does not have enough for an AL. The figures given in the AL "Calculator" are just not current....in our area they gave a figure of $3,300 per month and that is about $500 too low. (This is for No medication help, no mobility help, just base rent).
We have been to visit several facilities, but it is very difficult to ascertain the Total Costs in advance. Yes, I know it is a changing situation. But who in their right mind would sell their house and move into a place, without reasonable assurance that they will NOT run out of money?
I am feeling like I have to make a major Life Decision, and not able to see the End Game where she expires peacefully in a nice cosy bed in her OWN ROOM. It really seems like you either have to have nothing, or a million dollars; those who are middle-classed have paid paid paid all their lives and now have to pay pay pay and not know if they have enough for the end.
I would appreciate any wisdom from those who made it possible for their middle-classed parents to have a middle-classed death.
(Yes she has already pre-paid her funeral).

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It's just really sad that she was incredibly frugal all her life, hardly any vacations, no fancy cars, nothing extravagant whatsoever....and she is running out of money.
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She currently lives on $29,000 per year and has no debts. AL costs are $45,600 plus "extras". If she sold her house she has a couple years more, but by then she might be into the $96,000 per year nursing home costs. So she is very close to "running out." I never imagined she would be in the Medicaid situation....but it appears she may need it in the end.
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I spoke with a facility in my area today that has assisted living and memory care. They will take Medicaid after two years of self pay in assisted living. However, this does not apply to memory care. The primary reason is that the Medicaid reimbursement is so low, the facility will lose money on memory care. Some medicaid rules are very strange as they do not seem to recognize dementia as an illness that requires a high level of care. Is this why so many nursing homes are not desirable? Those are the last remaining choices once aomeone is out of money.
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Mallory, mom lived at home at got $1600 a month in SS and $600 a month from her tenant. She spent it all every month. You think they are living at home for nothing. Not so. Even if the house is paid for, add in taxes, water, gas, electric, cable, lawn cutting, insurance, snowplowing and repairs and groceries and cleaning products and laundry. We were really surprised that she was spending all that much.
You can also get VA Aid and Attendance for your mom if she was married to a wartime veteran. Up to $1100 per month.
When you add in the bus trips they go on and the entertainment that comes in, there is no way you can do all that cheaper at home.
Right now, mom can stay in the ALF forever and not need Medicaid.
If she needs a Nursing Home, that would be different, that could run through her savings in 3 months.
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One thing to consider is that she may very well love it there and will actually live longer, due to the great meals and activities and new friends. My granddaughter and I are going to visit my mother in law at hers, tomorrow. She wanted us to come after 3, because she was planning on going to the music program.

That is something she never would have went to at home.

She is 92 and suffered a stroke, 18 months ago. She tried to return home, but realized that she couldn't do that. So, yes. She sold everything. It went well, since she was able to say what to sell and what to take to her new room.

My own mother is 96 and in a NH. She has let her house set for 2 years and it is deteriorating and costing her money.

You may want to look for one of the nicer nursing homes. Then, insurance and medicare helps pay. And when you run out of money, Medicaid.
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