Feeling guilty about Mom in nursing home, Dad still at home and lonely. Any advice?

Thomas10; is your wife being seen by a psychiatrist and treated for her Bipolar disorder? Medication can be a real game changer in this illness.Even by phone, you can be her advocate. Talk to the staff at the facility; find out who the best point person is to communicate with, sometimes it's the nurse who cares for your wife, or the social worker. Participate in the treatment plan; you may fell better what is going on from THEIR point of view as well as your wife's. It will also help you to explain to her better why this is the ONLY choice right now.

To make a long story short: I visited my mom sometimes more than once a day. When she'd say something about coming home, I'd just reassure her that once she got done with her physical therapy and I got done with mine (explained that I had gotten very depressed because she had to be there and I was getting therapy) she would be able to come home. I knew she wasn't coming home, but I could see she was satisfied with that answer. Some well meaning people told me not to go to see her everyday. I couldn't do that. This was my mom. Thankfully the NH is less than a mile from my house, so I saw her every day, sometimes even more than once a day. I know often she'd forget I had been there, but I knew I was there, and that is what helped me cope. I totally agree with Karenp. Get outside therapy. If you need antidepressents, get them. Keep yourself healthy and strong, that's the only way you will be a benefit to others. Visit her whenever you want to. You won't regret it when she's gone.

Looks like I repeated myself about visiting more than once a day! Sorry about that, the "morning coffee" hasn't hit me yet!